Travels with Smacky -Three kids, no time. Now with recipes!

Spring is springing

2010-03-31T19:26:00.002-05:00

Frogs. Croaking and creaking and getting busy. We heard them the first time yesterday. We'd already found several huge tadpoles by bucket seining (if you can call it seining). I put them in a large vase in the kitchen and they're going through several large lettuce leaves a night. I can't wait until they start sprouting legs; it's just a crazy transformation to watch.

The ducks and turkeys have settled in well, though I have to say it's an odd experience to see ducks roosting up in the rafters of a building. Still, good it's a fox avoidance technique, don't you agree?

Duck finally worked up the nerve to nail one of the hens today. It took a surprisingly long time, but maybe I'm just used to the chickens. On! Off! ruffle and go! I hope that the hen will start laying in a place I can find; I'll maybe give those first ones to a friend who had a bad duck year. They got me started with Duck and his first two short-lived wives, so the least I can do is toss a few eggs at them. I won't be able to incubate them in the house until May since I'll be gone for 10 days this month.

I finally found someone who has built a hoop house the way I'm planning on doing it, so I have pictures and descriptions to go by to help me out. I won't be using quite the same materials, but it should work out the same. I'm also going to build the chickens a hoop tractor; I think we should be able to fit at least 50 birds in each tractor, and that would be a great way to start to revitalize a good part of the pasture.

Once I get back to town, we'll have our pigs delivered, and I'll start looking for a couple of market lambs. I'm going to take the small flock class at Shepherds Harvest, if I register in time. I wish I could have taken something like it last year, before the wheels fell off of my sheep keeping.

71 degrees today. Mostly sunny.

2010-03-27T19:03:00.007-05:00

Oh, hello. What? I can't hear you. My ears are filled with cobwebs.

Um, er. Yes. Well. Hello! I can see by my handy 2009 calendar that it's been a while. There are so many happenings chez nous, both good and tragically bad.

To the good: Jabba (who has morphed into Chewie with her amazing Wookie impersonations) is walking. And she's 16 months old. What! She isn't quite talking, I don't think, but then again, she makes the same noise everytime she sees the cat, and it sounds, if you stretch your ears to the back of your head and hold your left arm up just so, like "GA!" which I consider to be Close Enough. So she's talking, fine. Yes! Add one more to the chorus of my God, I can't hear myself think with all the voices talking at me at once.

On the farm front: I think someone ate Rosencrantz sometime this winter. Alas. I knew him well. ahem. I gave Guildenstern to the shearer when he came, and then my sheep died, so that was nice. The running theory is that the ewes had toxemia and I put that down to poor management. I'll know better next time, and that means I'll find a new way to kill the next batch. Marley probably succumbed to worms. The ewes had three lambs between them, all just about due. So that's what, a 200% loss?

Crazy Betty is setting on a new batch of eggs, and I hope they will all hatch safely. I'm not sure how they'll get out of the nest box, elevated as it is, but I suppose I can deal with that when it comes.

We're drowning in eggs. I think there is a gross of them on the porch. We have one hen who produces olive-green eggs. I wish I could figure out which one it was; I'd like to ID her. In the meantime, I'll just keep them by for incubating.

I put out the call for chicken and turkey orders. It's hard to know what to price them at without knowing how many I have to order, but people want to know how much I'll be charging. I may just ballpark it.

Perp is having a grand time in kindergarten. She turned 6 last week, dude, and I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around that. Six. She got a bike for her birthday and has mastered riding up and down the apron of the garage and coasting back down.

Dude also got a bike for his birthday (4!), and he's slowly learning to manage it. More importantly, he got to see the end of Bad Rooster.

Bad Rooster made a big impression around here.
He would pretty much attack any one of us, mostly from behind, and around here, mean people get eaten.

So we ate him. And it was good. And Dude was happy the end.

The view from the North Pole

2009-12-06T17:32:00.002-06:00

just got obscured by letters.

Dear Santa,

This year, I have been very good. I am nice to my sisters most of the time. I try to help around the house when Mama needs it. I take naps most days. Sometimes I don't hit. Sometimes I don't scream. I think that's all.

This year I would like a space suit, a helmet, a firetruck man, a clown car, and a clown suit. I think that I want a police suit, a police car. I would like new games new clothes, please. I mean not new clothes, just new game a helmet for a space man, a space suit, firetruck man, and a police things and a space ship helmet, space suit, firetruck man and police. And a, uh, space ship to go with the space suit and the helmet. And I think that's all.

Love,
Dude.

Dear Santa,

Cleaning my room, and sleeping in my room for two nights, and helping cleaning the dishes. And another thing helpful is staying in my room unles we have to go to the bathroom and always going potty before I go to bed, this is at Grammy's, too. Also, sometimes going to sleep, going to school, that's my favorite part. Playing with my friends inside and outside, being quiet while my teacher talks.

I was doing well and I liked getting for me the food for me and Dude, the toy food.
I liked getting Sprinkles the bear for my brother.

I would like pom-poms and a cheerleader costume [ed. - we're watching the football as I type this]. I want a (before I do another one, can I please tell you if Santa lives in the North Pole? Does he? I always wanted to go there!) king merman. I remember last time when I saw the elves. That's it.

Love,
Perp

Lucky cluckers

2009-11-03T08:41:00.002-06:00

I've read over and over again that broad-breast turkeys can't naturally reproduce because they are just too big. I wish I had a video to contradict that theory, but I didn't have my camera on me. Nevertheless, I stood in the field Sunday afternoon while the butcher slaughtered the pigs, and I watched a pair of turkeys getting it on. I have no idea if he was successful in fertilizing any eggs, but he sure had the motions down. I'm almost tempted to keep a pair.

PS, why are they breeding NOW? Isn't this a little late in the year for nesting? Gosh, they really are dumb.

The Happiest Drunk on the Block

2009-11-02T11:32:00.001-06:00

Yay for conscious sedation during dental work!

So, um.

2009-08-17T19:31:00.002-05:00

Yeah.

I honestly don't know which angle to go with here. Birth control? Waxing? The American Anti-Speculum League?

And on a totally unrelated note, the trailers filmed for the start of Tropic Thunder are HIlarious. If I ever make a movie, I want it shown at the Beijing Movie Festival and to be nominated for the coveted Crying Monkey Award.

That is all.

Mind like a steel trap

2009-08-03T08:24:00.001-05:00

P's playing with a jelly treat and drops it.
Me: Better grab it before it runs away.
P: Food doesn't move.
Me: Piggies move.
Whining child: Not when they're cooked.

Seriously?!

2009-07-11T23:27:00.003-05:00

I've been running around ALL DAY with my shirt inside out. I can only assume no one else noticed it, because I sure as hell didn't have it pointed out to me at any time in the last 13 hours.

On the plus side: Cinnamon Rice Chex. Dangerous.

Peaceable kingdom

2009-06-25T18:24:00.014-05:00

Thanksgiving dinner takes a break from pooping in my car. Time for a nap!

Marley is a Lincoln/Wensleydale ram, about 5 years old. He's pretty wild but took some sheep treats out of my hand today. I feel like a winnah!

Rosencrantz rules the roost.

Guildenstern is without question second banana in this production.

Unnamed ewe. She's the mother in this pair. Given her Siamese-like color points, I'm tempted to call her Anna (that may be a somewhat obscure Hollywood musical reference unless you're my age or older but I really hope not). Husband would like to call her Eff. Eff ewe! You can see her (also unnamed) daughter behind Marley in the first shot.

Farm update

2009-06-22T08:36:00.004-05:00

Well. So things here at Moot Pointe aren't going quite they way we'd planned, but there are changes.

A friend of mine came over a couple of weeks ago and helped me build my raised beds. Husband and I had ordered three pallets of concrete blocks which were sitting and sitting and sitting out by the pond. Every time I walked past them I thought about how it was going to take me all summer to build these beds and what was I thinking, why not just use the damn treated wood and get it over with, the usual self recrimination refrain.

But! In one day we got three beds built and chipped wood mulch put all the way around two of them. AND two beds filled with soil, two more with chicken litter. Hot dog!

Bed 1 has tomatoes, peppers, and herbs, bed 2 has squash and cantaloupes. We'll see, but so far the kids in Bed 1 are going ganbusters. It also rained off and on since last night, including a lovely shower just this morning.

Tomorrow I go to examine some sheep. Yeah. We're expanding. We don't have any pigs as of yet, and it's looking like we probably won't, so that time can be well spent learning ruminant theory. I'm looking at a ram, two or three ewes, and a couple of wethers, one for the freezer and one to keep the ram company when he's beign separated from the girls.

To help prepare for the sheep, I went on my first pasture walk on Saturday. What a revelation! I found out about several fabulous extension programs (free grazing plan! fencing grants!), and met a few people I may be able to learn from. I have a grazing planner coming on Wednesday; I'm all 'splody with excitement.

The chickens and turkeys are going well, and the first appointment at the slaughterhouse is on the 30th. I'll be taking about a dozen birds in, far fewer than I'd scheduled (and purchased). Second date is the end of next month, then the turkeys go mid-November. We primarily planned to send them because we can't manage that many birds on our own in a day or two, which is how much time we have to work with since Husband has a full-time job. But then we discovered the Whizbang Chicken Plucker (also on the pasture walk). That sucker can pluck a bird in 15 seconds! I ordered the plans yesterday so I expect they'll come this week. Youtube had some fabulous videos, including one plucker made from a washing machine. Chaka like. We really could do a large number of birds in a day if we didn't have to pluck them by hand. It's the worst part, imo. I totally don't mind gutting.

According to state regulations, we can sell up to 1000 birds a year directly to customers with no USDA inspection. With a plucker, it doesn't even sound crazy. I think, though, that if we were to start selling, I'd move to a slower-growing bird, like a poulet rouge or a heritage breed. Don't get me wrong, I like the Cornish X we've been raising just fine, but if we're going to do this for money, I'm going to pull out all the stops and raise for the market, which is for heritage birds. They only take a couple of weeks longer than Cornish X, but they can reproduce on their own and many are better at utilizing pasture. Might as well do what brings in the most money. The farm we went to for the pasture walk only raises Americauna chickens because they get a premium for the blue/green eggs. Crazy but true.

We haven't decided on how to handle the pig situation yet. We could buy feeders from someone else, but I'm kind of tempted to leave it alone this year. I'd love to have the meat, but to only have to deal with one large animal type at a time is immensely appealing. In the meantime, I'm rendering lard from last year's batch. It looks like it's going well. It doesn't smell bad at all, which seems to go against everything I've read so far, but I still have to get cheesecloth to strain it.

I've decided to start keeping records of what goes on, farm-wise. I think it will be interesting to go back and see what we spent and did from year to year. Then, when I get crazy and try things like grafting and incubating eggs in the basement (which I hope to start tomorrow).

So, that's my quick farm update. Oh, we also got a pair of Muscovy ducks from a friend and they're doing really well. I think they may be gearing up to set up a nest. Throw a whizbang plucker into that mix and you'll find a very happy me.

2009-05-20T15:26:00.006-05:00

Exactly what demographic is Noggin attempting to draw with these Jumparounds videos? The all-important "Desperately longing for youth so we'll take a role we're 20 years too old for" group? Perhaps those "I really wanted to be in Scooby Doo as a kid" folks you hear rumors about? Seriously. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

No, really. I don't get it. These people are all at least 30, pretending to be teens. Nothing new here, I know, but it still boggles the mind. They do lameass dance moves that Perp is trying to copy. I find this both amusing and horrifying. Yes, I love that she wants to get her groove on, but dude. Can't we put on Code Monkey* or something instead?

Also: I don't care what anyone says, I love Yo Gabba Gabba. Biz Markie! There's a party in my tummy! It reminds me a bit of the Sid and Marty Krofft acid trip extravaganzas of my youth. I honestly thought I'd come up with H. R. Pufnstuf during a febrile nightmare one night. Seriously. What. the. fuck.

Oh, and using periods for dramatic effect has officially jumped the shark. I saw it on the cover of some gossip rag at the grocery store yesterday. Shit.

In other news, Jabba is nearly sitting up on her own. She does crunches when she lies down (uber cute), and today went from propping herself up with her hands to fully sitting. On her own. Awww, crap.

She cut two teeth on the bottom and is busy trying to gnaw my fingers off whenever she has the opportunity. She has tried bananas and avocados and loves them both, but I don't think she's getting much down her gullet. I just park her in the high chair and give her a slice of either (long ways) and let her go to town. I have to say, I don't miss the purees at all and I don't think she does either. Since we waited to introduce solids until she was 6 months old, it seemed reasonable to just skip that whole stage. Whee!

I ate cheese today. I suspect I'll be posting tomorrow about the hideous night she (we) had. But maybe we'll luck out. She still does not approve of coffee or wheat but I'm just not ready to give up the latter, given that dairy and joe are out.

Holy shit, ya'll, it went from 47 to 87 today in about 20 minutes. The wind started to shift around noon, with a HUGE wind storm, then it calmed down just a few minutes ago and no shit, it's 90 at our house. In town? fifty-nine. That's crazy, yo.

Dude is still cute and has oddly adult mannerisms, none of which I can bring to mind at the moment. Thanks, lactation lobotomy! He and Perp start summer school mid-June and we're all v excited about it. It gives Perp the perfect opportunity to get familiar with the school layout, introduce Dude to new kids and possibly neighbors (playdates!), and give Jabba a few hours a day of pure, unadulterated Mama time. I think this will be a good thing.

Perp is in an ... interesting ... stage. She's 5. I think that's probably all you need to know. It pretty much says it all:
"Oh, yeah, sorry about X, Y, Z that Perp did. She's 5."
"Ohhhhh, gotcha. Sorry!"

Mary Poppins will be coming to our house for the summer again. She'll be splitting her hours between us and some friends in town with a toddler, so I won't have her daily, but I am so sublimely blissed out by this that I don't even mind it much when Dude tries to headbutt me on the way to naptime. Much, I said. I'm not stoned.

Random mix of news that I'm not even trying to tie together in a coherent post:

I got Husband a Kindle for his birthday and he's in the trial phase, trying to determine if he'll use it enough to keep it or if he should trade it in for blowjob coupons. I suppose I chould just give him both.

We got three pallets of concrete blocks delivered so I can make raised beds where the fenced gardens used to be. The wood was rotting and I decided that a few raised beds made more sense than 55' of mostly unattended garden. Also, I can reorient them so they run N/S instead of E/W. A friend's rockstar husband came over and tilled the spot for the first bed last week, so I just need to level the edges and place the bricks. She said, casually, as if it were just that easy. I think a friend is coming later this or next week to ride herd on the kids while I work.

We have our second batch of meat birds in the garage. I moved the first batch of chickens and turkeys out to the bird yard, and they're all doing really well. We lost one chick to spraddle leg/trampling, and I think two each to general failure. I found the remains of one turkey outside the fence. Since the pigs trashed it last year, the birds have been just ducking underneath a section and going on walkabout. Not so much with the safety, there.

The first batch of chickens is due to go to the slaughterhouse at the end of next month and I honestly don't know if they're going to be big enough. Since they're actually free range, they don't sit and eat crazy high-protein all day long, which means that while they are gaining faster than the layers, say, they're still not going to be mondo birds by 6 weeks, like the ones you see in the grocery store. You read that right. Six. Six weeks. How sad is that? But at least mine are running around, eating bugs, taking dust baths, and doing crazy chicken things, instead of living inside a building loaded with their own shit and devoid of sunshine and grass. Also, I think this first batch will be more like 8 weeks.

If we can get our shit together this weekend, we'll put the electric in the temporary pig yard and get the first two of four. We can't get any until we're ready to build the main yard, though, and I realized that we might need to change our method of building after I saw the fence a friend put up. Seriously, it's a thing of beauty. We could use it for pigs, sheep, AND cows if we wanted, and I suspect we could put birds in there and keep them safe.

Said friend also has Muscovy ducks and I'm going to bring a few home. They are very good setters and mothers and I suspect that the only thing that will keep ducks safe is starting with wily adults.

I got a few dozen minnows for the pond and released them yesterday. I think the pond freezes enough to kill all the fish off, since we NEVER see any feeding dimples in the water, but I don't mind getting a few dozen a year to keep the mosquitoes down. Maybe we'll even see some predator birds.

My mom wants me to take a Master Canner class. Should I? I do a little bit most years, but I'm kind of afraid it would raise my interest in an unhealthy way. That is to say: I'll go apeshit and try to can everything I bring home and we'll never get the kitchen back.

*Known as "Code Monkey love you" chez Smacky.

Anyone need some eggs?

2009-04-26T19:36:00.009-05:00

That's two eggs short of eight and a half dozen. I'm sure there's some kind of crazy joke to be made in there, and I wouldn't begrudge you one little bit. I really wouldn't. Husband found the motherlode today, almost three dozen in a tipped over cardboard box out in the pole barn. I've seen that box I don't know how many times, but it never occured to me it would present itself as the Ideal Nestbox. Silly me.

Yeah, so hi! Hello, how are you! Um, I guess I don't have a good reason for not posting. Post partum derangement, perhaps? Yes! Why not? We've had two birthdays, not including Jabba's, a couple days where I sat for a friend's kids and had something crazy like eight preschoolers, toddlers, and babies in the house with just me in attendance*. If that ain't crazy, I don't know what is.

So, a roundup of our activities over the last few months (shameful!):
I flew with all three kids to my dad's place on the East Coast. By. my. self. And we were all unmedicated! I KNOW!

Actually, when it comes to flying, my kids are rock. stars. They kind of suck in the airport itself, but really, where would you rather have the good behavior? In a relatively small, exceptionally contained space, or a hundreds of thousands of square-feet facility with room to run? Yes, exactly.

We spent two weeks out east, with Husband coming out for the second half, which is when we turned it up a notch and dispatched 500 clams. Dude didn't have a chance to repeat his astonishing oysterfest, but he made do. We took a couple dozen out on the dock and tossed them in, hoping they might take a liking to the place and settle in for a stay. Who knows, it could work.

My folks and I took the kids to the beach for a foot-dip, but it was pretty windy and cold, and really too early in the season for a beach day. Perp was ecstatic about being able to stick her toes in the ocean, though. Dude managed to handle the wind pretty well; he HATES it when it blows in his ears, always has. Even as an infant, he'd burrow his face into my chest at the least sign of a breeze. Freak.

Unfortunately, we had a minor tragedy. Let me just say that a four-pound box of shortbread cookies and I cannot coexist in the same house together. Good thing I got the stomach flu yesterday and managed to unload a few pounds in the space of 16 hours. My pants almost fit again.

We all flew home togther and managed to survive the cancelled flight, reroute to Chicago (go see the dinosaur!) and late-night drive from Big City airport to our little burg. Instead of arriving home in time for a late-ish bedtime for the kids, we got home at about 2 am. But we still got home, so okay.

We got our first batches of birds last week, 25 turkeys (bronzes) and 25 meat birds. I have them all together in a wading pool, but they announced their displeasure with this setup by starting to pick at each other. I had to put three bandaids on the butt of one of the chickens. I'll try to get a shot of that, it's actually kinda cute.

So tomorrow, I'll move them out to the new old chicken coop, set up the lights, and let them have more room to roam. I think it'll do them a world of good and I bet the picking stops right away.

And! One of our hens hatched a chick! And she's raising it! For those of you what don't have chickens, this is a Big Deal. Most birds have had the setting/brooding instinct bred out of them, so the only way to increase your flock is to buy chicks or use an incubator/brooder setup. But I managed to score an excellent mama hen, who is doing a bang-up job, and I hope she'll hatch out a full clutch this summer. I suspect that any chicks she raises that have the least natural inclination to motherhood be more likely to get the job done. The other birds we've had who managed to set long enough to hatch eggs out were suckass mothers and smothered the hicks or abandoned them. This is too cool. Me, I'm remarkably easy to please. Cheap date!

So far, no indication that I'll get into school early --holy crap, it's POURING just now-- and frankly that's good since we have no childcare leads. Helps to look for some, I suppose..

And now, cute kid pics!

*I don't mean eight of each, of course. That would be insane.

I can't stand how great this is

2009-03-20T07:22:00.001-05:00

Baaahahahahaha!

I can't stand how great this is

2009-03-20T07:22:00.000-05:00

Baaahahahahaha!

Brush with flame

2009-02-19T17:36:00.001-06:00

So a friend of mine is in the running for Extreme Home Makeover. Color me jealous. But it sounds like they get into your shit enough that I'm glad it's not me. Sure, I could pass a background check, but is it worth it to have to hang around Paige Hemmis? I don't know. If they get picked, I guess I'll find out, 'cause you KNOW I'll be lurking around the site. Especially if Ed is on the crew.

Three months

2009-02-11T11:38:00.009-06:00

Hey! Hi! Hello, there! Um, I have no excuse. Other than having three children under the age of 5. Jabba the Baby is 3 months old today and I can't for the life of me figure out how that happened. While the days sometimes seem e n d l e s s, the weeks and months just fly by.

She's figuring out how to suck on her hands, oh happy day!, and is still a fantastic sleeper. Except when we put her down for the night in the cosleeper. Then, not so much. I have to say, I do love sleeping with my babies, but it means that the sleeping part of the night is fragmented and not so great. So I'm always looking for a chance to catch a cat nap. Or a sloth nap, that appeals even more. I know it'll come, I mean, she hasn't even organized her daytime sleep very well yet, so expecting her to get it at night may be asking a lot. But I'm looking forward to it, oh yes I am.

She's a champion puker. Like, if she were a cat, she'd have the horking down pat.

I've cut myself down to eating chicken, sweet and white potatoes, rice, tea (no caffeine, alas), 7-up (don't ask me why), and a few fruits. Still with the puking. And lest anyone think I'm being dramatic here, this is NOT spitting up a lot. This is dry-heaving, projectile, pyloric vomiting. Several times a day. Sometimes I can see it coming and get her to the sink, but generally it just comes out of nowhere. Could it be HFCS from the soda? I know she doesn't like dairy because she screams like we're pulling her spleen out her nose. Wheat seems to be a problem too, and given Dude's adventures in gluten-free land, I guess I'm not surprised.

There is a stomach bug going around, and I am allowing for the possibility that her continuing to vomit is related to that, but I don't know. If it hasn't cleared up by the end of the week, I shall freak.

Last month, I took her to visit her Auntie 6 in San Diego and we had a marvelous time. We ate hole-in-the-wall Mexican, fantastic Thai (like, I'm still fantasizing about that soup), and a lovely prix fixe meal at a spot on the harbor during restaurant week. And while we ate, we talked about what we were going to eat next. I brought out a couple of shoulder roasts from our pigs and she and Latrell Soulpatch had one for dinner after I left. I hear it was good. 6 was even willing to touch a baby. It's the end of times, I'm telling you.

I'm taking all three (three!) kids to VA in April to visit my famdamily, and I can't decide if I'm crazy or outrageously brave. Maybe both? I have to call the airline and see what kind of services they can provide to keep me from killing one or all of them. I hear that TSA will sometimes allow someone to accompany groups like mine to the gate. Gopod, I hope so. Just getting all three car seats to the gate puts the fear of I-don't-know-what in me. Husband is coming out for the last half of the trip and we'll all go back home together.

Yeah. So. Um, that's all I've got.

Hatty holidays

2008-12-20T21:19:00.005-06:00

I made this for Husband for Christmas but alas it's not long enough and I don't have enough yarn to extend it. I do have more than enough Cascade Eco Wool, however, so that's the next version. Alas, I spaced and didn't have them wind it before I left my LYS and I don't have a swift or a ball winder. I think they'd probably be overkill, though, which is why I don't have them. So tomorrow (if this crazy storm is over and the roads are clear) or Monday when it's all cleaned up, I'll go have it wound up for me. I think I can crank a new one out by xmas.

Sorry it's blurry; I had to shoot it without a flash and folders make lousy tripods.

Okay, so my dough rose, now what?

2008-12-09T16:17:00.002-06:00

Gobble gobble

2008-11-23T12:01:00.004-06:00

Today was the day of destiny for two of our turkeys. Husband dispatched, plucked, and cleaned them and now we let them sit until Thursday, when we will gorge ourselves silly and thank the turkeys for their ultimate sacrifice. I had really hoped to keep a pair of them as breeders but we still can't tell who's a hen and who's a tom, and my god they eat a lot, so all four (someone got the fifth last night, if you can believe it) are going to meet their maker.

I hope they're good. The chickens certainly have been, so I'm going to assume we're in for a treat come T-Day.

In other non-death related news:
Fat Baby is doing really well. Her jaundice is clearing up nicely, and she gained 6 oz between Tuesday and Friday. I expect she'll be back to her birth weight or better by her 2 week check on Tuesday. Two weeks! How the hell did that happen?

Perp and Dude continue to be fascinated, if a bit dangerous. They either don't get the concept of being gentle with her, or they are trying to off her in subtle ways. I really can't be sure which. Good thing babies are tougher than they look.

I can't get the kids to play outside, or even go for a walk. Christ, it's going to be a long winter.

This must be a typo

2008-11-16T20:54:00.003-06:00

Britax!

Britax!

eta: out of stock now, or they caught the error and I'm going to receive an email that makes me do frowny face because they won't honor the price. Hope for the former, eh?

Smack Attack!

2008-11-12T18:59:00.004-06:00

Our second daughter made a bit of an early appearance this morning. Her official due date was Thanksgiving, but she decided to grace us at 6:33 am on my father's birthday (clearly a Very Good Baby already). I don't know how to break it to him that I got him the most awesomest present of evah but he can't have it. I suppose I can loan her out on occasion.

She weighed in at 8 lb 8 oz, 19.5 inches long. I'm not sure if you can make out the incredible fat rolls, but this kid could give a sumo a run for his money. She has quite the ham hocks going on there.

It was a longer labor than I expected (7h) but since most of the ctx were only around 30-45 seconds, it wasn't really too bad until my water broke. Then things got Fairly Intense but it was by far the shortest stage of the labor. I cannot imagine doing this labor without the tub. CAN NOT. Apparently I'm quite the gymnast when I push. I think I nearly climbed out at one point, trying to find the right position for leverage and to get the hell away from that giant melon (okay, only 13.5", but from the inside it feels like a bowling ball. Can I get an amen?).

Best of all: no tears! No sutures! It doesn't hurt to pee and I'm not afraid to poop. Wow.

The kids woke up just as she was being born, so by the time they got into our room, we had her all wrapped up with a teeny lid. More interesting to go watch tv, though.

We're still working on names. We need her face to unflatten a bit before I can tell who she is, plus we still have a list of four or five we have to narrow down. It may take a few days. Good thing she has no concept of time.

The kids are so far quite fascinated and want to be around her all the time. They each have a baby wrapped up in a receiving blanket that they're toting around. I expect this will fade as they realize just how much time babies take up, but you never know.

I'm also proud to say I introduced one of my midwives to The Daily Show while we waited things out. She will never be the same.

All in all, a good day's work.

I GOT MY EARLY BABY!!

er, for those not in the know, Smacky is our all-purpose fetal name since we don't find out gender at ultrasounds. Hence the title. It has nothing to do with fondness for heroin. Mostly.

huh

2008-11-11T18:40:00.003-06:00

With both Perp and Dude, once I had the lovely bloody show, it meant babytime was imminent. Like within a few hours. It would appear that the third child syndrome mantra "expect the unexpected" is repeated for a reason.

Still here. Still waiting. Still no contractions. Bah.

Not to jump the gun or anything

2008-11-11T13:03:00.002-06:00

but I think Smacky may make an appearance today. We shall see.

Here's to hope

2008-11-09T14:42:00.002-06:00

Husband took the carpet sharks out to see Madagascar, and I'm bouncing on a ball trying to get these contractions turn into Something rather than Nothing.

If you have any pull with the Uterus People, please put in a good word for me.

Ahhhhhh

2008-11-04T22:32:00.000-06:00

Thank dog it's over. And I don't even have to stay up late.

Conservation of mess

2008-11-03T15:50:00.003-06:00

If you took chemistry in HS or college, you probably remember the concept of conservation of mass. I now posit there is a corollary: despite how much you clean, purge, declutter, and generally empty a space, children will achieve Conservation of Mess. I cleaned most of the downstairs today and a good portion of the upstairs. To compensate for this loss of mess, the kids managed, in the space of about 45 nanoseconds, to trash several previously cleaned spots.

What. the fuck?

OT: Dude just peed standing up and said, "It's a good thing when I pee potty. Rock on!"

OT2: I contemplated washing the kitchen floors today. No, not mopping. Washing. On my hands and knees. Perhaps I nest?

Holy crap, I'm in

2008-10-16T17:45:00.004-05:00

I just turned in the paperwork for the ADN program at a local community college. So in 18-24 months, I'll be starting my first semester of nursing school. No assessment tests (I have a BA), no pre-program classes (I have a BA), and no swollen uterus (I have 4-8 weeks left. Oh, did I neglect to mention that? Time somehow flew. Another post for another day).

In other positive news, the pigs are gone. The yard we had them in was fairly devestated (picture Beirut, for instance), and the grass literally was greener on the other side of the fence (simply by virtue of there being grass). So they started busting out. We thought we were being all clever by putting the portable electric fencing inside the other yard but they had the nasty habit of charging *through* it instead of backing off. So they busted out again. Then the last time I realized that I couldn't: herd the pigs, fix the fence, and keep the kids from killing each other while I tried to do the first two. Poor Husband had to rush home twice in a week to help me corral them. His partners probably find it very amusing.

After wandering around the yard for 10 minutes weeping hysterically, I called the butcher and begged them (more weeping) to "come out and kill these damn things." They took pity on me and when Husband and I managed to lure three of them into the kids' play yard (again: Beirut). Lovely Clyde the Butcher came out and dispatched them that day. The other three we got into the old freezer (don't worry, it's 18'x20'), and they went to the Great Beyond two days later.

I picked them up the day before yesterday and I can't tell you how much more relaxed I feel. Between that and stepping down as the organizer for a local Meetup group, it's like I was on vacation for two weeks. I had no idea how much they were freaking me out until their collective weight was off my shoulders.

We've pretty much decided that we won't have more pigs until we have permanent fencing, which we might be able to do in the spring, but probably not. Luckily, Clyde the Butcher sells directly so we can buy from him if we need to.

I probably have lots more to report but I can't think of it now and it's time for the news.

Oh. Um, EWWW

2008-09-15T12:15:00.005-05:00

When you flush the toilet, ideally all the products therein flow merrily downhill through the stack and into the sewer/septic/holding tank/whatever fetid locale you happen to have. Right?

I'm just checking, because right now? If you flush the upstairs bathroom toilet, massive quantities of ick flow up through the tub drain. Into the tub. Which we generally use for cleansing our bodies.

There are no words.

Husband made a valiant effort and tried to snake the toilet, but my theory is that the issue is in the tub's line and it's moved far enough down that now it's affecting the toilet, too.

PS, my god we poop a lot.

In other news, I called our local meat guys and am waiting to hear back on when they're coming out to do the pigs. They won't be nearly as big as Breakfast and Brunch, but we got them late (thanks, local meat guys!), so our timeline was shorter.

I feel bad because unlike pretty much any other animal I can think of, when the pigs encounter the electric fence, these guys charge THROUGH it instead of backing AWAY from it. So we haven't had any luck moving them to greener pastures (literally). They're still in the chicken yard, which thanks to several days of rain and the handiwork of our rootertillers, now measure about 5" of muck. I know they'd rather have nice cushy grass but they're too effing stupid/stubborn/bizarre to accept that white lines = pain and hey, STAY AWAY FROM THE WHITE LINES AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

Next year, we learn them young and early.

Perp started preschool last week and is already home with a cold. Swell! I know she's really feeling pretty bad because she's willing to just flop on the couch with Noggin on, and even spent several hours upstairs in her bed with no complaint. People, that's huge.

Dude has mastered the art of pooping on the potty. This morning, he dragged Husband in to show him and said, "That certainly is a big poop!" Too bad we couldn't flush it down the freaking toilet.

Patho-ver me

2008-08-26T20:14:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was the first day of my pathophysiology class. I'm very excited. I have a few days before we're divided into discussion groups and start working, so I'm putting up the bat signal for anyone who's taken it and can recommend good study guides. I LOVE Springhouse Notes (the A&P book was immeasurably useful to me), but they don't seem to be in print anymore, and they never seemed to have a patho volume. Boo. There's the Incredibly Easy series, but I don't know. Seems like false advertising. Anyone ever use one?

I really don't want to buy any textbooks, but I'm willing to be convinced.

Another successful day of mothering

2008-08-26T17:08:00.003-05:00

down the drain.

Hey, I have an idea: let's have a bath! Relaxing, cleansing, fun. Right?

Tell that to the two tearing around the upstairs hall shrieking at the top of their lungs (now with fighting!). I warned Dude that standing up in the tub meant an automatic end to bathtime and he didn't believe me. NOW he wants to wash his hair, which I couldn't bribe him to do with all the tea in China (or jellybeans in the candy factory, which is a far more likely option). Perp didn't want to get out because she wanted to play mermaid, but I really want to get them fed and down early. So I wrestled him out, threatened her out, and now they're banging on my door and trying their level best to break the sound barrier.

TO hell with the kids, it's a wonder any of the parents survive.

I wish you could hear them. It's really quite astonishing.

Because I so totally want to win this

2008-08-25T14:49:00.003-05:00

I'm clueing you in, too. Simple Mom has an awsome contest up at her site (closes tonight, so hop to it!). She also had a great post today about tasks. Multi, single, reallynotnecessary, and how they can get in the way of parenting. (guilty).

Must be time for a vacation

2008-08-18T13:39:00.002-05:00

Perp: I wish I didn't have a little brother. Then we could go to lizard land today.
Me: Where's that?
P: Mmmm, it's by Mexico.

Very satisfying

2008-08-17T18:10:00.002-05:00

I whipped up three batches of blueberry muffins that I'm putting into the freezer against the fall and winter. I usually just freeze the batter in trays, bag the nuggets up, and then bake them as I need them. You don't miss out on crunchy muffin tops that way. <---- clever!

I also got a copy of Fix, Freeze, Feast and put 9 bags in the basement. It took about 4 hours, but I was wrangling kids. Solito, you could crank them out in about an hour, I think. It's basically the same thing you do at Super Suppers or Meal Time, but you do all the prep and shopping yourself. I don't mind the shopping or the prep, so it works out well.

A few friends and I are trying to make a date to whip up a few more meals and share them. So far I can tell you that Swimming Rama is tasty, though I added a lot of ginger and a few tablespoons of peanut butter to the sauce. It really makes a difference. Sweet Asian chicken was a hit, too, but again, ginger, and if I knew the kids weren't going to partake, I'd add the pepper the recipe calls for. The honey-glazed chicken thighs are okay, but I don't think I'll repeat that one.

I also plan on putting a shepherd's pie away (LAMB! not beef!). I could eat that just about every damn day.

I lovelovelove having a ton of food already set up and just needing heat to make it into dinner. My favorite thing about this book (and the meal prep places) is that you don't have to prep, COOK, and freeze. You just put it away raw and cook it when you want it. I think that's the secret to freezing a lot of meat dishes, frankly. But I'm making that up as I write it, so feel free to disagree.

Knitting Olympics

2008-08-05T11:01:00.004-05:00

They started last Friday! Unfortunately, I miscalculated and it's at 7 AM, not a lovely and civilized 7 PM. Ah well.

My choice for this year's competition: Phazelia's Ribboned Baby Jacket. Yum.

I'm wrestling with myself over whether to stasbust or take advantage of the 20% discount at my LYS. I know what most of you would say, but I think, given the GORGEOUS marino fingering I got at a local show this summer... well. Smaller stash equals more room to cram something new, right?

eta: I'm just at the neck section now and it's going quite well. Kiss of death to say that, but whatever.

Picky kids?

2008-07-11T16:02:00.002-05:00

Feed 'em this. If you don't want to lick the pan afterward, I don't want to talk to you anymore.

* 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 T oil
* 3/4 teaspoon black pepper
* 4-6 garlic cloves, chopped
* 1/4 cup brown sugar
* 1/4 cup heavy cream (I use more, so I have more sauce)

Directions
1. Sprinkle the salt and pepper onto the chicken.
2. In a medium to large sized skillet (I like cast iron) heat the oil over medium-high heat until almost smoking.
3. Add the chicken breasts and garlic to the pan and brown the first side of chicken, about 5 minutes.
4. Flip the chicken and brown the other side, about 3 minutes.
5. Remove the chicken from the pan and add the brown sugar to the pan.
6. Allow the sugar to melt about half way and add the cream.
7. Bring to a bubble and add chicken back to pan
8. Simmer for 3-5 minutes and serve over butter egg noodles or rice.
9. Enjoy!

Holy crap, people

2008-07-10T12:13:00.004-05:00

I just kicked the snot out of some spices and whipped up a fantabulous garam masala. I sauteed it with some chopped onions and butter and then threw it all into a bowl of brown basmati rice I made last night.

Oh. My god.

When the groceries come home, I'll add golden raisins and sliced almonds and a bit of salt then mix *that* all together. Oh, and peas. Gots to have peas.

Tonight I'll serve it alongside homegrown pork steaks with homemade green tomato chutney and a salad. Husband thinks we need another veg so he'll see what looks good. I'm leaning toward green beans for Szechuan beans, but I'll take what I get. Rhubarb pie and ice cream for dessert. Sort of a mish-mash, but it oughta suffice.

(This would also be really good with lamb added for a main dish. I'd pressure cook the lamb with a leetle bit of onion and garlic, then chunk it and mix with the rice.)

I used 4 c uncooked rice, so I'm prepared to feed an army. That was enough to use the entire batch of masala, though.

Garam masala (Indian spice mix)
1 T cinnamon (Penzey's Vietnamese Cassia)
1 T cardamom
1/2 t cumin
1/4 t cloves
1/4 t nutmeg
lots of ground pepper (didn't measure)
A handful of crushed Szechuan peppercorns

I probably should have added some corriander seeds too, but I ain't. Maybe next time. I think 1 t ground is probably enough. All the above were purchased ground, even though real garam masala is made with whole spices that you grind yourself.

Banner day

2008-07-09T19:41:00.002-05:00

What does it take to warm the very cockles of my withered old heart? Peeing in the potty is a fantastic start.

TWICE!

Already doing something wrong

2008-07-09T16:28:00.002-05:00

Dude's cool new Bumgenius 3.0 diapers came on Monday and he promptly pooped FOUR TIMES to break them in. Problem: despite prewash, wash, and extra rinse, they still smell. Sun? Another round of washing? I'm waiting on a bunch of PFs and covers, so if I need to switch to something without fleece I can do that, but I'd really like to be able to put these to good use.

Help!

Oh, and I've managed to lose two cloth wipes in a day. This is going great!

100 Item Challenge

2008-07-03T18:52:00.003-05:00

I find this interesting. I was just saying to Husband, who brought an article about Dave Bruno home, "If we could categorize a few things, like books, I could do this." Even better, I think WE could do this. If each person were allowed 100 items, and necessities like diapers/underwear, weren't counted individually, I think it's entirely doable.

I may just give it a try.

Categories might be:
books (even this I could purge quite a bit)
cooking items (ditto)
pants (say a max of 10 pairs per person, dress and street combined)
shirts (same, but maybe 20 what with the spillage)
shoes (considered 1 item since we have such radical weather swings here)
movies (hard one; this could take up a big chunk of the list)
knitting (MUST be a category or I'm already done)

And do you consider personal items like deodorant? If we don't share, it's not a household item, right?

Does the tractor count as a household item even though I'm the only one who uses it? It contributes to our food since I mow the field to move the pig fence..

My GOD, the stuff we could get rid of! And I don't even need to sell 99% of it, just get it OUT of my house.

"No, Daddy,

2008-07-01T18:07:00.000-05:00

you can't serious me. You're killing me."

WTF?

I'm back! And I'm biased!

2008-06-25T10:04:00.004-05:00

Ah, summer. Hot, sticky, humid summer. It's coming and I'm about to grow Very Cranky. So I thought I'd try and figure out why it is that I'm so intolerant of intolerance, but still manage to have my own little balls of bias living in my brain.

I don't like formula feeding. That is, I don't like it for convenience. I understand that there are a few (very few) women who legitimately don't produce enough milk, and that some can't nurse because of meds they need to take. But when women just choose to do it, it really bothers me. I never, ever say anything, because it's not my place to tell people how to feed their children. And I know that puts me in the minority of lactivists, but still. It's there. Right under the surface, just hoping I get an opening to put in my two cents. Which I'm too chicken to give. Ah well.

But there it is, I don't support formula feeding unless it's medically necessary. And I'm guessing that my idea of medically necessary is a lot different than most people.

I also find myself discounting people who are very vocal about their religion. Mostly that ends up being Christians (and when did that become a denomination?). I have a few friends who are very religious but it's just part of who they are, not something they use like a hammer to wear others down. When someone says, "What *we* believe," or "In *our* family, we do X," I have no problem with that. When someone says, "What *you* should do," or "The bible says you should do X," I shut down. I can't help it. Part of it is that I just don't seem to have the faith gene that others have. And I'm okay with that. I really am. A lot of people are not okay with that, though, and they don't mind telling me so. THAT I have a problem with.

I understand the command to go out and spread the gospel. But I think it should be shared with people who want to hear it and not forced on people who don't.

But again, I keep it to myself. I don't complain when people talk about their faith, though I think I'll start telling them I don't need to be saved, thanks.

It didn't even occur to me that I had these biases until I was ranting about intolerant people and it suddenly clicked that, hey! I have a couple tender spots myself. I like to think that I don't force them on people or make them feel bad for their choices/beliefs, but it's really, really hard for me to let go of my opinions. And maybe that's okay.

In other news:

We have 6 new piglets and ohmigawd are they cute
Perp and Dude went to daycamp this month and luuuurved it
Perp starts 4-K in September. Big girl school!
Dude has the vocabulary of a 3-4 year old and it's bizarre
My mom had a great book review for her new kids' book
We're switching to DirecTV because hey, we have this HD tv that we really can't put to its full use with Dish Network. But DTV doesn't work with TiVo, so we have to use their suck-ass DVR. I'm sure I'll get over it, but I'm not all that happy about it. On the plus: more channels of Absolutely Nothing!
The goats are gone. They went to live on a farm. No, really! They'll be in the county fair this fall and we're going to go visit. But we don't miss them, not even a little.
I'm turning into a fruit bat; I eat at least a pound of cherries a week, plus a pint of raspberries, lots of oranges, and peaches. How I love summer.

Hurry up and wait

2008-03-18T14:11:00.002-05:00

Last night I had my first clinical. Mostly it was orientation, and *yawn*. We also worked in the "feeder dining room" and fed residents who needed help with it. I helped a lovely but somewhat confused resident. Unfortunately, between my apparently fading hearing and her low voice, it was a bit of a farce. But she got a fairly good meal down and we watched the birds in the aviary. Nice.

Now I'm in the interminable job wait. I've applied for a number. I'm quite excited about one: Hospice home health aide. The more I think about it, the more I think Hospice is where I want to end up (short-term, people, I'm talking work). I think it's such incredibly important work, people there don't seem to fall into the politics and backstabbing - and if I'm wrong, please don't write to me about it, I need my little dream.

I wonder, though, since I'm still techincally in class, if they'll disregard my applications. One spot has been open since December. I hope they're hot to fill it. To get to be a voyeur in someone's house and support them through death? Too cool for words. I know that's slightly twisted but what can I say. I have my foibles.

Tonight we work 1:1 or 2:1 with residents. Everyone is nervous but me. I figure I've been training for this job for the last 4 years, right? Feeding people who don't want to eat? Changing wet/dirty diapers? Making endless beds? No problemo.

What I *am* nervous about is the general load of work for the hours of the shift. Seriously, there were probably 10-12 residents in the feeder room and there would only have been THREE CNAs to help them. I just think that's nuts. A normal pt load is 8-10. That's 8-10 people who can't do most things for themselves. Dressing, feeding, walking (I canNOT say "ambulate"), cleaning, toileting, feeding, toileting, meds... it's a wonder anything gets done at all. I am afraid I'll be paralyzed by a crisis of indecision. Wha-? Who? When??

I know a lot of it is just figuring out your own routine, but that's so not something I'm good at, the routine. I'm not routine-y. Now martini, that's another story.

Bang

2008-03-11T19:50:00.000-05:00

I am a: Glock Model 22 in 40 cal

What kind of handgun are YOU?

Unofficially official

2008-03-10T18:39:00.004-05:00

Dude has celiac disease. I do not know this for a fact, as evidenced by blood tests, biopsies, or genetic testing. But I do know that when he eats foods with gluten, he develops eczema, stops gaining weight, and becomes a clingy, cranky, borderline-desperate boy.

MIL thinks I should have him tested but all the evidence I can find says that kids are hard to pin down, and that positive results from an elimination diet are good enough. I suppose some day it'll be worth doing, but not until he can understand what's going on and why we're feeding him food that makes him feel like shit. Yeah, you have to load up on gluten before hand in order for your intestines to start reacting, otherwise the biopsy won't show definitive results. Fun!

I've been kind of tooling along with a gluten-free diet for him, basically not feeding him any but not being too careful about the kitchen environment. Turns out a lot of people with CD have terrible problems with cross contamination. Like, separate toasters, pans, knives, peanut butter problems. And since he's having yet another eczema flare despite my efforts to keep gluten out of his diet, I think we have a problem, Houston.

It *may* be that the Quaker rice cakes that Perp shares with him every night (oh so cute) are the culprits, so they're the first thing we're cutting out. But if a few days of that doesn't do it, then I think we may need to just be a gluten-free household. It's too much work to keep everything separate the way it needs to be. I'm starting to understand how kosher households operate.

So. If you have any advice, recipes, product recomendations, hugs... I'll take 'em!

I will tell you this: I've found a cookbook that has let me make stellar brownies. I mean, wheat, no wheat, whatever, these are as good as scratch in the old days. So there's that. And? Chocolate chip cookies. Assuming the chips are GF. Oy. Gluten-free Baking Classics by Annalise G Roberts. Go. Get it. And order some superfine brown rice flour while you're at it. You won't believe the difference that extra grind makes.

Dudie-versary

2008-03-03T14:03:00.005-06:00

He's TWO! I honestly have no idea how that happened.

Still here

2008-02-29T10:09:00.003-06:00

really. Just not feeling the posty love. But I'll be back TODAY with something. Husband is at a CLE, so it's just me and the ankle biters from last night to tomorrow morning. So far so good, though Perp woke up with a bug up her ass. Then she had a giant poo and felt much better. Amazing what a dump can do for your outlook, no?

We have high plans for running a few errands but I may just leave it until tomorrow when I go and get my knit on. Saturdays are Daddy Day at Moot Point; I hit the ground staggering, go to a local-ish bagel shop where I can't eat anything, and study. Then I go to the knitting house when they open and spend the day on whatever WIP I have going on. Tomorrow it's finishing Perp's Einstein jacket, then I start Husband's Christmas present. Yes. It's ~~February~~ March. I don't want to talk about it. I also have to get a BSJ out for friends who are having a girl in May. As many times as I've started that damn thing, I should have about seven of them done.

Anyway. More later ~~when~~ if the kids nap.

Choppy weather

2008-01-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

The day before we left to visit SIL and BIL in Germy, Breakfast and Brunch went to meet their maker. Lucky us, our butcher's brother does on-site slaughtering, so we were able--for a ridiculous price*--to have the girls dispatched on their own turf with very little, if any, stress.

Two days after we drove, nay, staggered home from the airport, I went to the butcher to pick the girls up. Nothing like leaving 400 lb of pig (Breakfast) and coming home to 200 lb of neatly wrapped piles of meat. Well, hanging weight wasn't that high, but he guessed she ran about that big. Hanging weight was 237 lb for Breakfast and I think 162 lb for Brunch.

The breakdown:
88 chops (in pairs)
4 steaks (not sure if they're in pairs or not)
8 packs of ribs
9 shoulder roasts
4 loin roasts
*37* packs of bacon (I figure ~1 lb minimum, some clearly more like 3 lb)
1 roast (what kind? I don't know)
4 shoulder steaks
9 hams (picnic and big ones)
1 fresh picnic ham (for my dad)

We have 148# of bacon and hams! There's also 14 lb of sausage coming, but it's not ready yet.

The smoking was an extra charge of $111.00, and the butchering fees were $57 (Brunch) and $82 (not Brunch). So we have several hundred pounds of pork for $288 (not including feed costs and the cost of the pig). Not too shabby. Even if I dropped $200 for feed, that's still a great price per pound (Under $2!). Plus? We're not contributing to factory farming and astonishingly inhumane "living" and work conditions. I feel really good about that. Really good.

We're already planning on raising a few more this year. Several friends have asked if we'd raise one for them, and I figure it's just as easy to do 2 (or 4) as it is to do one, and they do prefer to be in groups, so... This time around I think it's safe to figure the pigs would have a hanging weight of 120-160 lb. We sure won't let them get as big as Breakfast did (6 hams off of her, because they were so big!). We figure to buy the pigs in early spring and schedule a slaughter date for mid-late September, which should lead to them being in the preferred slaughter range of 200-250 lbs.

Honestly, no one who knew either of us a few years ago could have predicted we'd be doing this. Hell, we wouldn't have predicted it.

What I love about this is that not only do we get truly fantastic meat, but our pasture is going to be all the better for it. As we move them around our field, I'll go in after and reseed to rebuild the soil and upgrade the pasture. Right now it's in pretty poor shape, and the rooting, pooping, peeing, and weed eating is just what we need to start off on the right foot. If I can figure out a good shelter for them, I'll also put some chickens out in with the pigs, to spread the manure and take care of flies and worms. While the pigs are young, I may also put the goats in with them, but the girls got pretty aggressive and I think that I'd prefer not to find out if pigs eat goat.

* how much would you charge for killing, skinning, and cleaning two pigs in 21-degree weather? Figure 2-3 hours of work, here. It probably wouldn't be $36, would it? How do they make a living at that price? That's where the extra few bucks came from in the price breakdown, btw. Thirty-six. When he got the bill, Husband said, "Thirty-six ..... dollars?" and butcher's brother said, "Yeah. It's cheap."

Together, we can fill a landfill

2008-01-05T12:45:00.000-06:00

*squirt*
"Dude, was that you?"
"Yeah!"
"Did you poop?"
"Yeah!" Arms up in air. Grin. "Big!"

Somehow I knew it

2008-01-03T10:51:00.000-06:00

Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Librarian

You're the Librarian! Once a wizard, now an Orang-utan (due to an unfortunate magical accident), you refuse to be turned back for a few reasons: In this form, it's easier to reach the shelves and hold more books; having the strength of five men makes people return their books on time; life's great philosophical questions boil down to "when do I get my next banana?" You say "ook" but are usually understood well enough.

The Librarian

88%

Death

81%

Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax

63%

Carrot Ironfounderson

63%

Gytha (Nanny) Ogg

63%

Greebo

56%

Commander Samuel Vimes

50%

Cohen The Barbarian

44%

Lord Havelock Vetinari

38%

Rincewind

38%

Perpo and the Man

2007-12-30T17:49:00.000-06:00

"Mama, Daddy took me to the bathroom and he used his junk himself!"

In the puking time

2007-12-21T17:04:00.000-06:00

First struck down was Perp on Monday night with three bouts of violent vomiting and sheet/blanket changes. Tuesday everything seemed clear. Wednesday she puked on my mom's floor. Wednesday night Dude succumbed: FIVE bedding changes. Last night, I got the call in the form of a vague, semi-scary wakeup at 11:30. You know the feeling: "Uh oh. Something Is Up. Maybe if I just lie here..." bolt to bathroom. I ended up sitting on the tub for half an hour before the first round, so that's nice.

Note to self: when Husband's popcorn makes you want to hurl, prepare yourself for the worst.

Top it all off with (three) raging cases of near-cholera diarrhea and you have yourself a very merrry Christmas.

Here's something you may not have known: dehydration can make you so dizzy as to nearly pass out. Slumping to the floor with your head between your knees works wonders for that.

Also: my mother-in-law rocks the freaking UNIVERSE, and I'm not afraid to say so. She came over (despite having had this yesterday, which I didn't know at the time), and wrangled the kinder while I sprawled on my death bed. Then? THEN? She CLEANED! Okay, tidied, the place was actually pretty clean but we have chronic clutter problem. AND? She took the Perp home for the night. If you can think of a nice gift for her to thank her, drop me a line. I don't think she's a massage/mani/pedi person. I should really know this by now, shouldn't I? I suck.

(C)Happy (C)Ha(n)u(k)ka(h)

2007-12-04T17:14:00.000-06:00

I was going to post earlier to allow for my European friends but I'm lazy. Or I forgot. Whatever, have a latke on me!

Pork roasty goodness

2007-11-18T20:51:00.000-06:00

Oh sweet mother of god:

pork shoulder roast (bone-in good)
kosher salt, maybe 1/2 - 3/4 c
handful of fresh sage leaves, chopped
2-3 garlic cloves, smashed
mashed up szechuan peppercorns (from penzeys) <---- this is my particular favorite. You may not love them as much as I do but if you don't I can't speak to you anymore.

Mix everything in a bowl and rub onto pork. Let it sit for at least 2 hours.

Cook at 450. Use a thermometer for to not overcook. Good lord. I think mine went about an hour and a half. If you tossed in some spuds at about an hour? OMG.

Overheard

2007-11-18T09:25:00.000-06:00

Perp reading The Little Engine that Could: Once upon a time there was a little choo-choo. "I like to do lots of things. I can go up hills. I wish I could pee."

Urologist-to-be?

Stupid calendar

2007-11-08T11:42:00.000-06:00

I've had myself convinced that today was the 9th and my Meg Swensen DVD was going to be in my hot little hands this morning. Clearly I am wrong. Dammit!

Dude, when you can't even remember what the hell day it is? Time for an intervention.*

*And I mean all week, not just today. ALL. WEEK.

Thank you for your support

2007-11-07T17:28:00.001-06:00

I own ~~two~~ three non-nursing bras. I bought the main two when I was pregnant with Perp, which means I got them in October 2003. I have not replaced them nor even considered doing so until recently. I mean, they're holding together remarkably well, they're still white, and I don't appear to have changed size, even if I have shown remarkable, uh, attention to the laws of gravity.

So why haven't I gotten new ones since then? Is it because I find it painful to buy new clothes for myself? That replacing them when they aren't torn, snagged, or stained seems wasteful? Or maybe I don't want to show my new boobs to a stranger when I get sized (just curious if I'm really the same size or if all that extra just happens to fill the same space, when you smash it into the cup).

I think part of it is that while I have no problem buying clothes for everyone else in the family, I feel guilty when I do it for myself. I almost only buy from Target, and only if it's on deep discount. I only get utilitarian things, which makes sense given the likelihood of my being covered in random food substaces or pig/goat/chicken shit.

Part of it is also that I hardly ever wore a bra before I had the kids. I wore these little sports-bra-meets-camisole dealies that did nothing but add another layer, and that was okay. Back in the day I had these gravity-defying funbags that had to be seen to be believed. Oh, how I wish I'd taken pictures of them. The things you never thought you'd say..

So anyway, I didn't wear them, or when I did they were entirely the wrong size so I got rid of a bunch and never replaced them. And now I have my trusty friends, workhorses that WILL NOT DIE SO I CAN REPLACE THEM.

Maybe it's time to hold an old-fashioned bra burning.

Too many cool sites

2007-11-06T14:42:00.000-06:00

out there these days. But with the ~~rampant consumerism~~ ~~absolutely insane expectations~~ holiday season upon us, perhaps you'll find this handy. It's so cool! You can set it so spouses don't draw each others' names, even. Damn. Clever, these elves.

I swear to god I hit submit

2007-11-06T10:54:00.000-06:00

yet there's no Monday post.

Ah well. I think I beat last year's record for fucking up. Woohoo!

Cookie goodness

2007-11-04T15:47:00.000-06:00

I worked these up on the theory that they'd be good for Dude and his stupid gluten intolerance. Imagine my surprise when I found out that oats have gluten in them. *sigh*

So. If you (or someone you know) can't have wheat because of a wheat allergy, rather than a gluten intolerance, these are great. Crispy on the edges, chewy in the center, and no one I gave them to could tell they were wheat free.

1 c butter
1 c white sugar
1 c brown sugar
1 T vanilla
1 t baking soda
2 eggs
1 t salt
1 T xanthan gum
1/3 c rice flour
2 c tapioca flour
1 bag chocolate chips
2 c quick (NOT instant) oats --if you like an oatier texture, use the regular oats, the ones that take 3-5 minutes to cook. If you use the quick ones, most people won't even notice them, but the cookies will have a wonderful texture that's nothing like those sandy gluten-free cookies.

Work just like a regular cookie recipe, cream butter/sugar, add eggs, etc.

Bake at 375 until nice and brown.

I think if I make them again I'll also add 1-2 T flax seeds; good fiber and a little crunch to boot.

Even if you're not wheat free, give these a try. They're really fantastic.

Don't know much about history

2007-11-04T12:55:00.001-06:00

or football, but I know funny.

Ribbit

2007-11-03T20:46:00.001-05:00

I'm working up a Baby Surprise Jacket and until just now I thought I was really kicking some BSJ ass. But I'm 3 sts short for the first increase row so I guess I have to frog it and start over. BUT! I found this really cool site that has a modernized pattern written out. I think I'll love this, but Zimmermann's directions are a bit ... loosey goosey.

So I'm starting it over again. Wish me luck!

New for the Spring 2008 Prostitot collection

2007-11-02T13:36:00.000-05:00

This kind of thing is a particular problem for me, the clothing of small girls in mini-me whore clothes. Dressing toddlers in pants that say YUMMY across the ass are isn't cute, it's appalling. Imagine my surprise when I heard about Celia Rivenbark, who seems to feel exactly the same way I do.

Children are not miniature adults and they should not be dressed as such. I don't know why that's so hard for parents to understand. And don't give me that, "But I don't want her to be picked on," or "I don't know about fashion, what am I supposed to do?" bullshit. You're supposed to say NO. Do your goddamned job, dude. Don't be her friend; be her father.

It's hard enough raising (or being) a girl in this culutre. Why subject her to its ugly side any sooner than you have to?

I suppose this is the proper time to admit that I've been making Perp a bunch of burquas. They're in pretty colors! Of course, since she's going to live in the basement until she's 30, I suppose it doesn't really matter what she wears.

NaBloPoMo!!

2007-11-01T20:55:00.001-05:00

It's baaaaaack.

I totally forgot today was November so I have nothing to say but I'm taking another shot at it. I hope it takes me longer to forget to post this time.

Can you hear the howling, Clarice?

2007-10-29T18:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, that title will prove to be completely inappropriate, but I kind of like it. Shut up!

Perp was washing her doll, Coyote last night, and I realized, oh my god God, she named her doll Coyote. What the hell? Where on earth did that come from? Then I realized, hell, she already has a doll she named Yes (very popular with the boy dolls), an invisible friend named Trupe/Troop/Troupe (she can't spell it so I don't know), another invisible friend called Commando, an invisible dog named Buster. Quite the stable. She also demands that we role-play. Recently, while under her weird mind control, I spent an hour being Gus, a classmate of hers. I like him. He likes to lie on the floor and pretend to sleep. Imagine the coincidence, so do I!

Go figure.

Cross-cultural pollination

2007-10-25T07:34:00.000-05:00

Perp and Dude are watching the Street, as they are wont to do every morning. I don't love the idea but what the hell, we're Amerian parents and we may as well buy in. Aaaaanyway, call me crazy, but I think Mr. Noodle just missed taking a ride with Travis Bickle. WTF?

Let us praise

2007-10-24T18:47:00.000-05:00

the Magic Eraser. Yeah, it's good for cleaning walls. It's suitable for removing crayon from various surfaces. It's even showing up on the heads of mops (though that seems like a spectacular waste, given how fast they fall apart). All this is true, yes.

But.

Here's what I bet you didn't know: the Magic Eraser, glory of glories, will remove ground-in, dried-up poop from your bathroom grout.

Don't ask; I have no idea, either.

Here's why Dooce sucks

2007-10-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

Flor

Sometimes I surprise myself

2007-10-09T21:10:00.000-05:00

I've been looking--off and on--for at least a year, for this story Husband and I heard on NPR a few years ago. It was about this guy who was hitchhiking to a bluegrass competition and got picked up by a young couple and their various adventures together. All I could remember was that the young man could jimmy open Coke machines (v proud of this fact) and his girlfriend was a shoplifter and the story was HYSTERICAL.

And tonight, after whining about it on Ravelry's NPR group, I found it. I found it!

Ridin' with Junior McGee

Oh, Chandra,

2007-10-04T20:22:00.000-05:00

I'm so disappointed. I posted this at 7:13 this evening

Baby ate meth, the explosion was because the parents were cooking up a batch.

Between that and the deer last week, I'd say this show has officially jumped a very large shark.

Approximately four minutes later, lo. And behold. I am prescient.

Either that or the writers are on a SERIOUS plot vacation. Or both, but whatever, now I have space in my season pass queue.

Dear Dude

2007-10-03T12:21:00.001-05:00

If you don't take a nap, I'm going to lose my shit. Seriously. I mean it.

Please. Work with me on this.

I would like to see you like this within the next 30 minutes.

Thank you for your consideration,
Mama

A&P

2007-09-25T20:55:00.000-05:00

is about to kick my ass. I just cracked the book for my 5-week course and I nearly died. I haven't taken chemistry in something like 10 years. My math skillz? Rusty. Six hours a week to spare on studying the digestive system? Unlikely.

But I'm doing it anyway. Psych is turning out to be such a cake walk that I may as well do something challenging, right?

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to school I go.

Avast!

2007-09-19T10:02:00.000-05:00

It's Talk Like a Pirate day!

So ahoy, me hearties! Bring me one noggin of rum, now, won't you, matey?

Elimination diet and the junk-food junkie

2007-07-28T12:21:00.001-05:00

It's clear to me that Perp needs to go on a strict elimination diet. Her skin worsens by the day and aside from strawberries and tomatoes, there is no clear trigger. I made the mistake of going back to a scented laundry soap and that is probably a part of the problem, but it's not the only one. I know that Dude's skin improved immeasurably when I took him off wheat (plus he gained a pound in a month!), so I know it's probably going to be worth the effort. But. Ew.

So.

I have a list of foods that she *should* be able to eat safely, but ensuring that she doesn't have anything else is going to be difficult. I'll have to send food to school for a few weeks, and insist that she eat NOTHING else there or at the ILs' place. This may prove to be harder than it looks. I think there are a few things on here I'm going to let her have yet, but if things don't get better within two weeks, I'll cut them out too. Oh, this is going to suck.

The biggest problem, I think, is going to be convincing people that this is necessary and useful. People don't always accept that simple foods, which are supposed to be good for you, after all, could cause her skin to be so bad. But it's true, they could. We know that tomatoes and strawberries make her flare hideously, so why can't other foods? I hope I can make that point without resorting to the "she's my child and I'll decide what's good for her" argument. I'm afraid if I have to make it, that will mean she cannot be in places where people don't respect my decision. Ugh.

On the plus side, I did this with Dude for a couple of months and lost like 15 lb, so it could be great for me to get back on the ED train. Extra oils for the kids, though.

So if you are considering doing an elimination diet, or if you've never heard of it and want to see the weeks of hell before us, here it is, copied and edited from this guy:

Allowed foods
Meat and seafood:
Fresh or fresh frozen lamb

Any type of wild game is acceptable. Deep-water ocean fish such as orange roughy, halibut, tuna, and wild salmon are allowed. All salmon from Alaska is wild.

Turkey is allowable if it is fresh, has not been injected or pre-basted with “butterball” chemicals, is not ground, pressed, or otherwise processed, and has no additives.

Vegetables: sweet potatoes (except that Dude can't have them *sigh*), yams, cabbage, carrots, squash (many varieties), asparagus, cauliflower, avocados, celery, garlic, okra, radishes, greens (beet, mustard, spinach, collards, etc.), cucumbers, eggplant, Brussels sprouts, kale, avocado, broccoli, parsnips, green peppers (not hot pepper or peppery spices), rutabaga, leek, and turnips.

Because wheat, corn, rice, rye, oats, barley, buckwheat, millet, and other grains are common causes of allergy, and because all grains belong to related food families, avoid grains while on this diet. This means you must avoid all breads and other foods made with any kind of flour. Although buckwheat, amaranth, milo and quinoa do not belong to the grain family, many grain sensitive people react to those grain substitutes and they should also be avoided. There is no way to make a sandwich, so get used to it.

Fruit: fresh or fresh frozen fruits (not fruits dried in sugar or packed in sugar or syrup), including bananas, grapes, peaches, pears, pineapple, kiwi, papaya, mangos, melons (watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, Crenshaw), cherries, apricots, pomegranates, mangos, coconuts, plums, persimmons, blackberries, blueberries, cranberries, raspberries, or loganberries. Eat only small servings of fruit, as fruits contain lots of natural sugar. Fruit canned in its own juice without sugar or additives are allowed. Avoid fruit juice except in small amounts.

You can eat nuts, including filberts (hazel nuts), almonds, or pecans. Use fresh cracked or nuts still in the shell, not roasted, or otherwise treated. (Peanuts are not nuts despite their name. They are actually legumes. Avoid peanuts.)

You may use safflower oil, sunflower oil, flaxseed oil, sesame oil and extra virgin olive oil. Use only cold pressed oils with no additives, purchased from a natural food source.

For condiments, you may use honey in very small amounts as a sweetener. Stevia is highly recommended as a natural sweetener. (Avoid NutraSweet®, Equal®, aspartame and saccharine, which are artificial chemical sweeteners.) Sea salt is allowed. The allowed oils can be used for cooking and on salads. Chopped nuts (of allowed types), ginger, garlic, cilantro, almond butter, and sesame butter are allowed. Many of the nut butters are processed in the same equipment that makes peanut butter, so read the label for warnings about small amounts of potential allergens.

Foods You Must Strictly Avoid

Strictly avoid: milk, cheese, yogurt, egg, all grains (including corn, wheat, rye, oats, barley, rice), sugar, oranges, grapefruit, legumes, beans, peas, peanuts, beef, chicken, pork, apple, white potato, food colorings, chemical additives, emulsifiers, yeast, preservatives, chocolate, cola, processed and packaged foods, coffee, tea, and alcoholic beverages.

Milk and milk-containing foods: Avoid milk and dairy products entirely, including cheese, butter, ice cream, margarine, yogurt, cream soups, breads, crackers, cookies, cakes, candies, luncheon meats, and other manufactured or processed foods. Casein and lactalbumin are other names for milk protein. Read all labels carefully.

Egg-containing foods: Avoid eggs or any foods containing egg, including custards, cakes, cookies, ice cream, pies, macaroni, salad dressings, noodles, pancake mixes, and all other manufactured or processed foods.

Grain-containing foods: Avoid wheat, corn, rye, barley, rice, and all grains and foods containing grains. This includes all commercial breads, cookies, crackers, cereals, batters, luncheon meats, pancake mixes, candies and a wide variety of other packaged and processed foods.

Citrus: Avoid orange, grapefruit, and foods containing those citrus fruits.

Sugar-containing foods: Avoid cane sugar, beet sugar, corn sugar, fructose, glucose, and brown sugar—including candies, cakes, sugar-coated cereals, ice cream, carbonated beverages, and the wide spectrum of processed and packaged foods which contain sugar. Sugar is hidden in dozens of foods including catsup, pickles, relishe, and salad dressings. Avoid artificially sweetened food or drinks that contain NutraSweet®, Equal® or aspartame. A very small amount of honey is allowed, but sweets are very addicting and it is best to go through a total withdrawal. Stevia is best tolerated as a sweetener.

Legumes: Avoid peanuts, beans and peas of all kinds, including string beans, lima beans, soy beans, baked beans, green peas, field peas, black-eyed peas, and vegetable gums. Soy bean protein ("textured protein") is hidden in a variety of manufactured foods. Read labels carefully.

Chocolate & cola-containing foods: Avoid chocolate and cola drinks of all kinds, including diet cola. Avoid all sweets, candies and foods to which chocolate has been added.

Meats: Avoid all forms of beef, pork and chicken, including luncheon meats, hot dogs, bacon, sausage and hamburger. Avoid all cold cuts. Avoid tenderized, spiced, processed or otherwise treated meat products of any kind. Most shrimp now sold in the USA is farmed in Asia and raised on human waste, antibiotics, etc.)

Fruits & Vegetables: Avoid white potatoes (even if the outside skin is red), French fried potatoes, potato chips and any food containing potato. Avoid tomato, corn, and rice. Avoid fresh, frozen or dried apples, oranges, and foods containing apple or citrus flavoring (which is often an artificial chemical). Avoid any other fruit or vegetable that was regularly eaten more often than once each week in the past.

Yeast-containing foods: Avoid breads, wine, vinegar, mushrooms, and dried fruits. Use only vitamins that are formulated to be yeast-free and hypoallergenic, without chemical additives or preservatives.

Coffee, tea & alcohol: Avoid all coffee and tea products (including instant and caffeine free). Also avoid herbal teas and all alcoholic beverages. Drink pure water, it’s good for you. Carbonated water, unsweetened but with all natural fruit flavor is acceptable.

Condiments: Avoid black, Cayenne. and any kind of hot pepper. Avoid onion, NutraSweet®, Equal® and aspartame, which are artificial chemical sweeteners. Beware of many spices that are mixtures of both labeled and unlabeled ingredients. Stevia as a sweetener is allowed, if a pure extract.

I heart Jemain and Bret

2007-07-23T20:50:00.000-05:00

Don't you?

Think About It

There’s children on the street using guns and knives
Taking drugs and each other’s lives
Killing each other with knives and forks
Calling each other names like ‘dork’
There’s people on the street getting diseases from monkeys
Yeah, that’s what I said - they’re getting diseases from monkeys
Now there’s junkies with monkey disease
Who’s touching these monkeys, please
Leave these poor sick monkeys alone
They’ve got problems enough as it is.
Man’s lying on the street
Some punk’s chopped off his head
I’m the only one who stops
To see if he’s dead
Mmm…
Turns out he’s dead.
And that’s why I’m singing
What…what is wrong with the world today?
What is wrong with the world today?
(Jemaine mumbles)
What…what is wrong with the world today?
You gotta think about it
Think think about it.
Good cops been framed and put into a can.
All the money that we’re making is going to the man.
What man?
Which man?
Who’s the man?
When’s a man a man?
What makes a man a man?
Am I a man?
Yes. Technically I am.
They’re turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers.
But hat’s the real cost?
‘Cause the sneakers don’t seem that much cheaper.
Why are we still paying so much for sneakers
When you got them made by little slave kids
What are your overheads?
Well, at the end of your life, you’re lucky if die,
Sometimes I wonder why we even try.
I saw a man lying on the street half dead
With knives and forks sticking out of his leg.
And he said,
“Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow
Can somebody get that knife and fork out of my leg, please?
Can somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees?”
And then we break it down.
This is where we break it down
Ooh
This is where we break it down
Aah
This is where we do the whoa-o-o-o
Break it down
This is where we build it up now
We build it up now
We build it up now
We build it up now
We build it up now
Build it up
And then we stop

Flight of The Conchords

I am farmwife, hear me roar

2007-07-18T17:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday evening I took a chicken from cluck to pluck all by myself (okay, further than that, I also gutted it but that doesn't rhyme as well as pluck so if you don't like it, find me a better word). If you ever find yourself complaining about the price of free-range or pastured poultry, knock it off. It's a dirty, smelly job, and when you don't do it on a daily basis, it also takes a long time. So when you next enjoy a tasty wing or drumstick, say a silent thanks to the wage worker who killed and cleaned that bird. It's not a job most people would want to do regularly.

But damn, don't they taste good.

Back to the earth

2007-07-04T23:14:00.001-05:00

1-1/2-year sentence

2007-06-18T07:26:00.000-05:00

"Bye, Dada!"

Quack

2007-06-15T19:47:00.000-05:00

is what I imagine the ducks said when they saw the fox/opossum/racoon/whatever coming at them last night. It translates to "Why the hell did that madwoman force us to sleep outside the safety of the coop and bed down with these disgusting goats?"

It's because they constantly spilled all the water out of the fonts which led to constantly wet bedding, which led to respiratory disease, which led to Coccidiosis, which led to five (six? more?) dead broilers, two more sick ones, and a sick layer. So far.

So. I put them out thinking that they'd be safe and the chickens would get better and here I am with no more ducks. Fuck fuck fuckityfuckfuck.

So. No more ducks. None more.

And where the fuck is the trapper, already?

Bitch-B-Gone

2007-06-11T14:08:00.000-05:00

I complain. A lot. A whole lot. I know this. And I really do want to stop, because I hear myself and think, ""Who the hell wants to be around you, skeedge?" So when I heard about this, I thought to myself, "Self? Don't you think this would be a good thing to try?" And the answer, apparently, was yes. So I have my bracelet on even as we speak.

I expect it will take me a month of Sundays to get to 21 days. And that's okay. At least I'm giving it a shot, kwim? But the big question arises: what, exactly, is complaining? Is telling Perp (for the 52,495th time) to take off her shoes before she comes in the house, is that complaining? Of course me ranting about the goddamned dog burying her freaking toy at the base of my passionflower and killing it just as it was about to go into extravagant bloom is complaining, but I don't know many people who would hold it against me. But it still counts so I'm glad it happened yesterday.

So. Watch this space for complaint-free blogging!

As if.

PS, what, to you, constitutes complaining?

Adam Scott totally stuffs

2007-06-02T16:40:00.000-05:00

I only say this because FIL is here for dinner and he's a golf nut so we're watching the whatever-cup-or-tourney that's on today. And this Scott kid? Toooootally stuffing. I'm just saying. But maybe he's a mutant and should do porn, but he probably makes more money on these balls than he would with his own, so it's probably a wise career move.

But still. S T U F F I N G.

Unexpected visitors

2007-05-29T17:11:00.000-05:00

I am determined to do some gardening for the fun of it this year, not just for the food of it. Even so, I was out weeding the future asparagus bed (bed for asparagus next year, not some futuristic Star Trek asparagus that bends you to its will with a gigantic butt-shaped head [seriously, they looked like butts, did they not?]). The first spring we were here I decided it was the perfect location for a permanent bed of some sort, and decided that strawberries are easy enough to come by, but asparagus, ahh... that's not so easy. Fresh asparagus kicks the stih out of anything you get at the store and even sometimes the farmers market, which I boycott anyway ('nother story for another day).

So. Hauled a ginormous tree out of the bed with the help of good old Hal (that lift gate can sustain a surprising load) and hopped in to commence the weeding. Cut out popple seedlings/young trees. Cut out whatever-the-hell-else is in there that isn't grass. Nip over to fill the wheelbarrow (bliss!) with wood chips and notice ... can it be? Am I seeing things? No! NO! Asparagus! I see a nearly-ferned out asparagus stem! OMIGOD, I SEE FIVE!

I put them in that first spring, then saw no signs of life (you know, how you put them in and cover them as they grow until the soil is all level about them?. I figured they were shot. So I didn't weed the bed for four years. Or fertilize them. Or mulch them.

But there they are, all the same. Five glorious stalks of the wily asparagus, once and again lending credence to my stance that if it can't take neglect it gots no business in my garden.

Happy dance!

Of course, it's too late in the season to eat them, and I didn't notice one of them before I hauled the tip off, so I cut that one back and I'll hope for the best. It seems to me that if it made it this far, it will pop back up in no time. Right? OF course it will. And next year I'll put in more. Or maybe it's still early enough to do it this year. Next weekend, perhaps. Mmmmm. Asparagus. Stinky pee.

Update: I cut them back just for the hell of it. Maybe they'll produce a few more stalks before I stop for the season. And maybe harvesting will stimulate them into thinking they should produce more, which would be nice since each crown currently only seems to have one measly stalk.

Cross your phalanges!*

*I know that isn't correct. I don't care.

Left Bank Cheese Pie

2007-05-19T09:13:00.001-05:00

Make this. You will like it.

9-inch pie crust
2 c. cottage cheese (the large-curd is creamier; do not use icky
low-fat cottage cheese)
2/3 c. sour cream
2 c. mashed potatoes
2 eggs, well beaten
1.5 tsp. kosher salt
3 Tbs. chopped oniion
3 Tbs. pimiento, chopped
1.5 Tbs. butter

Blend cottage cheese and sour cream. Beat in potatoes and all other
ingredients except the butter.

Dot the top of the pie with the butter.

Bake at 350 degrees for 1 to 1.25 hours, until filling has set.

This is terrific cold or at room temperature, so it's a wonderful dish
for eating outdoors at a picnic.

Day on the edge of forever

2007-05-11T07:19:00.000-05:00

Did you ever trot off to the bathroom to go to poo and it seems like it takes f o r e v e r for the damn thing to come out, then you look in the pot and damned if it isn't only 2-3" long? That's how my day is going.

We leave for a child-free weekend in Las Vegas early this afternoon and if you will pardon me for saying so, I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT! Yes, I will miss the babies. Yes, I will be glad to come home and see them again (though I wouldn't mind a slightly longer trip), but damn do I need this. I'm snappy, on edge, even less patient than usual, and just all-around knackered.

Perp is already having a break imposed on her, Dude freaks out the second his feet hit the floor because that means I'm not holding him (my chiropractor loves that; keeps him in business), and I honestly think that my head is going to explode. I am fairly sure I do not have the cleaning products to deal with that. Also? I seem to have either stabbed myself under a fingernail or I have a seriously painful bruise. I hit it when I type. Fun!

So. Barring free access this weekend, I'm outy. I hope to return in a better frame of mind. Cross your phalanges, eh?

Further cementing her place as "animal least likely to live until spring."

2007-05-07T18:02:00.000-05:00

The pig? She ate one of my ducklings. It is official: I will feel no remorse when she gets offed. But I will feel sated when I eat a large portion of her ass.

Four years ago

2007-05-03T16:28:00.000-05:00

today we were ensconsed at Caesars Palace, primping ourselves before we ran downstairs to get hitched. I was still waitng for my dress to come back from the cleaners. And waiting. Aaaand waiting. It finally arrived (uncleaned and unpressed) 15 minutes before the ceremony so we hustled downstairs and did 'er up right. And? Get this: I didn't freak out over the dress. Not even a little. I think the wedding coordinator wanted to cry. What the hell, if I bought into that "this is the most important/best/most memorable day of my life" crap, I was going to be in for a sorry sad life afterward. So I was all zen & shit and if the dress didn't come, I had a skirt.

But the dress came, and we skittered on down to the wee garden and had a lovely wedding. Then we traipsed off to dinner and watched our friends and family get loaded.

Hooray!

Happy anniversary, baby. I loves you the most.

Her name is Breakfast

2007-04-29T16:46:00.000-05:00

Now the boys need names.

If you could see

2007-04-29T15:54:00.000-05:00

how FREAKING CUTE Dude is when he dances, well, I don't know, I think your ovaries would explode. Unless you have a different set of gonads in which case you would probably puke instead. Puke with joy!

He is especially fond of the goats (we need names, they're boys), and I'll post pictures tonight ~~if I can get my shit together~~ after I round them up for the night. He hugs them like they're dogs. He also hugs dogs. Fine, our dog.

They folllow us around like dogs, so it's no wonder he thinks they're for hugging. And really, since they're bottle babies, they kind of are for hugging. Squee!

Dude and Perp are recovering from a wicked case of pinkeye. Luckily, it seems to be bacterial so it's clearing up well with drops. Drops from hell. Hell Drops from hell. I can't believe how tight they can squeeze those little lids together. I remember when I was small and had to have several eye operations and the torture of the Hell Drops. So I can sympathize. Empathize, even. But I'm still giving them the drops.

A cow just waleked past on Signing Time: "She has nahnas*," observed Perp. The child is obsessed with the bo0bies.

*I have NO idea how to spell it. NAnas. Nahnas. Nanas?

Because I'm morbid

2007-04-29T08:55:00.000-05:00

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?

You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away from swimming holes, and stick to good old cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when your toe scrapes the bottom.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

In which my stupidity continues to astound me

2007-04-28T20:32:00.000-05:00

So. Today. Carlton swap. For those of you who don't know what that is (all but about 5, I'm guessing), it's this farmy free-for-all at which you can buy (as I recall): goats; pigs; chickens; ducks; geese; pigeons; peafowl; guineas; cattle; horses and ponies; llamas and alpacas; puppies and kittens. Also, baked goods, seedlings, and various random crap.

I showed up with a tarp spread out in the wayback, three large cages, and $200 cash. Safer that way, really.

Did you know that you can fit 9 chickens, two goats, and a pig in the back of a minivan? You can! My poor car will never be the same. Husband reminds me: and a bale of hay!

Here's why I'm an idiot: I was so wound up by the crowds of people I had to drive through/past, a freaked out Dude in his ~~baby containment device~~ ~~Catherine wheel~~ car seat, and oodles of caffeine on an empty stomach that I forgot to ask what the babies have been eating, whether they've been vaccinated, at what age they were neutered, etc. Dog help me. So cross all available digits that I'm not going to fuck up their rumens in a fatal kind of way, eh?

The pig? Same thing. But I think they're a bit more elastic when it comes to eating so I'm not as freaked out. But I do have to figure out if she's been vaccinated yet so I don't go doubling up on anything.

Hey, if you have any experience with the pigs or the goats, drop me a line, huh?

Also, if you have some name ideas for the kids (ha! kids! It's funny because it's true), we're still looking. I kind of like Adam and Steve because I'm all subversive & shit. Husband offered Stan and Kyle which I find pretty amusing. Right now they're just the boys.

I'll post pictures when I shoot some without naked chirrun in the frame. What IS it with babies and nakey butt, anyway?

Oh, also? I think that we officially qualify as a farm, so we gots to name it. If we had the appropriate geographical, er, apparatus, I'd call it Moot Point.

As you were.

Speechless

2007-04-09T19:42:00.000-05:00

If you're a praying type, please send one up for Abbi and her family.

What the hell, people?

2007-04-03T21:10:00.000-05:00

My infernal computation device is giving me fits. I shut it down last night, turned it back on this morning, and now all the fonts and icons are fucked up. Some are too large, some are too small. It looks like the screen resolution was changed, but it says it's not changed.

I've tried adjusting the fonts and sizes, resolution, and messed with the options in Firefox. No go.

Also weirdness: it said that I'd installed new hardware, but I ain't. Also weirdly, it was related to video (video controller, VAG-compatible). I did not install a video controller. I'm supposed to insert a CD to load the driver but of course I have no such animal. I'm looking for a driver but I don't know whose controller it is. ...

No viruses. No malware. No weird security issues, at least that come up on scans.

Help? Help!

Ha HA! It was a driver that went walkabout for some reason. Everything *seems* to be better. I'll know tonight if that's the case. Thanks for the moral support, D.

This about sums it up

2007-04-03T18:38:00.000-05:00

Huh

2007-04-03T14:32:00.000-05:00

Guess I should have held off on planting those peas.

Car hell -now with photos!-

2007-04-02T13:42:00.000-05:00

Last week: to dealer about battery that keeps crapping out on me and tire that keeps losing air.
"Have a seat, it'll be about an hour."
*trot off to waiting area. Surf on handy free intermanet.*
"Nothing wrong, see ya. Take the tire to Firestone, they're the only ones who can fix it."
"Kthxbye"
*trot off to Firestone*
"Come back in two days and we can fix it or replace them. Lucky you, you have an extended warranty because the production run of these tires was for shite. But first go to the dealership so they can register the bad tires and do the warranty paperwork, then bring it back here."
*trot home. Two days later, go back to the dealership, and then Firestone*
"Hey, I smell a mouse, can you take a look while you've got it in the back?"
"Sure. It'll be 2-3 hours, we'll call you when it's done. Go to B&N and read."
*trot off to B&N to read*
Five hours later, "Yeah, we're almost done, we can pick you up in 15-30 minutes. Wait outside."
Wait outside. Cold. Wet. Windy.
Back to dealership to finish paperwork for warranty. "We don't smell a mouse."
"Huh. I could swear I ... Whatever. Kthxbye."
Today: coffee with a friend; notice car doesn't seem to have quite the power it should when passing on the bridge. After coffee, notice check engine and VSC lights are on. Call Husband: "Better take it in. It's under warranty." Agree, noting am already on the way.
*trot back to dealership* Notice that with gas pedal to the floor, car only makes it to about 30 mph with much effort on car's part. Hm. "Say. I think there's something wrong with my car." Explain 30 mph issue.
"I'll plug it into the computer." Gets computer, comes back. Repeat weirdness about speed/how car felt like it wanted to die climbing hill to dealership. "Oh. We can't use the computer for that. Go sit. We'll have a mechanic check it out."
*trot off to waiting room. Again. Entertain Dude for an hour. Ah yes, forgot to mention presence of 1 year old.*
"Yeah. Um. You have a GIANT mouse nest in your engine. (HA! -ed.) It ate through the wires which is why you can't go fast. Safety mode. Must replace wiring and [some part I can't remember]. Come look!"
Observe large quantity of insulation, grass, leaves, behind engine in location necessitating removal of many large parts. Of course.

Further notice nearly intact bird wing. Decorative touch?

"Good thing it's still under warranty! Tee hee."
"Yeah. Not for this kind of thing. Say, give us 4-5 hours and we'll fix it!"
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck." I have a toddler what needs a nap and entertainment. "Drive me to Husband's office and I'll take his car home."
"It's a deal!"
*trot to Husband's office, take his car home, weep on couch over impending repair bill and having to move pig of a carseat back into my car. Post my woeful story for all (some) to read and commiserate*

Hop to it!

Perpiversary III

2007-03-21T22:31:00.001-05:00

Dear P,
You are three years old. Three! Years! Old! THREE! I am honestly not quite sure how that happend. You are only 1. Seriously, it seems like the last time I turned around you were 1 and now you're ... well, you're not.

Your personality continues to evolve, though you are as social as you ever were. Occasionally you will fall back when someone addresses you directly, but you generally flit about the room and chat with anyone who can be lured into a conversation. Generally it's about your birthday. "I'm free in March! But now I'm two! But I'm going to be free. In March!"

For your birthday, your grammy came up and made a gluten-free red velvet cake so that Dude and I could participate in the festivities. It ~~looked like a blood sacrifice~~ ~~reminded me of a crime scene~~ was a bit alarming.

You might even call it scary.

But ~~shocking amounts of fat~~ ~~an artery-clogging combination~~ an über tasty frosting of cream cheese, mascarpone, and cream hid the abbatoir aspect quite nicely. You seemed to appreciate the effort that went into it. At least into the frosting; you never seem too interested in cake or bread if it's covered in something sweet and gooey. If I had a dollar for every peanut butter and jelly sandwich you requested, only to find a denuded piece of bread, well I'd have at least ten bucks.

We are still astonished at your eating habits. There are very few things you won't eat, though you still go through periods of living on air for days at a time. You will request food, then give it a desultory stare and only drink your juice. I should probably cut it out entirely, the juice. I limit it to a few ounces a day, heavily watered, but ~~your father~~ Certain People I know give it to you straight, right out of the box. We run a classy joint here and serve our juice in boxes. Buster Bluth would weep for joy.

You continue to sleep with every toy under the sun. I check on you before I go to bed and there are nights when you barely have enough room for yourself. I suppose surrounding yourself with beloved objects helps you to sleep well -- well enough that you can fall out of bed head-first and not wake up -- but I can't stop myself from clearing you a small plot to curl up in where you won't gash your head open on a sharp corner.

I recently found you with your crayon container over your face. The entire inside was coated with condensation from your sweaty forehead (what is it with your people and the sweating? Is there a toddler that doesn't sleep sweat?). It's a wonder you haven't suffocated. Dammit, I'll get that Mother of the Year certificate yet.

You continue to say the funniest things. We drove past the local carwash recently and you said, "Is that the bathhouse?" Yes. And the cars? they go there to swap fluids willy nilly. Sometimes when we're asleep, ours head over there for an anonymous quickie.

You started school in January. Three days a week you ride in with your father in the morning and I pick you up after naptime in the afternoon. You make art, hear stories, play with friends, all the things you expect preschoolers to do. Best of all, though, you go out into the world and engage it on your own terms. You also get to spend the day with your boyfriend, which pleases you very much. Every morning when you arrive, he runs over to you and you hug and kiss each other. I have offered to bring the paperwork in to cement the relationship but the dowry doesn't seem to be satisfactory. I may toss in a few chickens to try and sweeten the deal.

I regret to say that your love of television continues unabated. It seems to be a meditative experience for you; sometimes we actually have to ~~club you in the head~~ ~~shake you out of your trance~~ turn the tv off to get you to respond to a question.

It's a bit unnerving.

Mostly, though, you are very engaged with the world, and notice things on a regular basis pass unseen right before my eyes. You can never go back and view the world through a child's eyes, but you can borrow them, as it were. It's like having my own service toddler. "Look," you shriek when you see the car dealership, "banoons!!" I never would have noticed them.

The cat continues to adore you unconditionally. I find this hard to fathom given the abuse you pile on her. You sit on her. You pull her tail. You chase her around. But every night, there she is, purring away like a tiny grey Evenrude. The dog is a bit less sanguine, but still remarkably tolerant of her lot in life. I'd sure as shit be pissed if I were in her shoes. Mostly that's my fault, though. Apparently I can only mother one species at a time semi-effectively.

You have started to sing songs that we actually recognize. The current favorite is something about having no bees upon oneself. I shudder at the thought. Given your reluctance to play in the mud or get too dirty, it's kind of funny to hear.

You also love to read. Maybe a bit too much.

I swear to God that is exactly how I found you.

It's been a crazy three years. It seems like only yesterday that you were a little pink lump I could leave on the couch while I ~~lay there unconscious and drooling~~ ~~napped~~ did the dishes.

We can't imagine what life would be without you, big girl.

Love,
Mama

Dudiversary

2007-03-03T08:39:00.000-06:00

Dear A,

I'm at a loss. How has it been a year already? Wait: how has it only been a year? It's hard to believe that this time last year, you were only hours old and already suspicious.

You're starting to walk, which is freaking me the hell out. Luckily for everyone involved, you prefer to crawl, and man alive, can you haul ass. As you improve your walking skills, you have become more and more clingy, which I never thought possible. There have been days when you weren't even willing to go into your father's arms, which I suspect hurts his feelers a bit.

Your sister is passionately in love with you unless you are touching her toys. She'll tickle, cajole, hug, mash, and hit you, all in the space of five minutes. I hope that soon enough you will be a bit more able to defend yourself against her advances.

Your personality blossoms by the day. Watching it is one of the best experiences of my life. You are one of the most observant people I know. Unlike your sister, you wait and watch before making a move. I was not primed for a retiring child. I had spent nearly two years with a Vaudvillian after all; being presented with someone who didn't want to go to random strangers was beyond my ken. I think we've managed to get along quite nicely, though. You seem to like me okay.

When your father comes home from work, you go into a frenzy, "Ooooh! OOOOH! Ooh!" We speculate that you are part monkey, but the only way to be sure is to wait for the climbing phase. I would just as soon not experience the climbing phase. Give me a break on this one, okay?

There isn't much you won't eat, one thing you and your sister have in common.

Bathtime is also one of your pleasures now. Seriously? It took nearly a year for you to get into it, but now you can splash with the best of them. It's a bit ironic, since you were born into the water, but who am I to question your taste? As long as you don't start bringing Barney videos home. Then we'd have to have some kind of intervention.

Nursing is still going well. You seem to be as dedicated a nurser as your sister which pleases me inordinately. I know so many women who have a terrible time with nursing, so I count myself lucky that we're still slogging on.

Another thing you have in common with your sister is extraordinarily sensitive skin. I have yet to find a commercial lotion that doesn't cause you to break out in a hideous rash. In order to keep your skin from sloughing off like a snake's, I have started slathering you in olive oil. I worry a bit that you will like it so much that you will fall into a lifestyle that requires you to oil yourself up on a daily basis. I suppose if you work in tight quarters it would be okay.

I took you and your skin to Monica and she put us an elimination diet. Once I cut out grains (especially wheat, I think), soy, eggs, dairy, fun in general, your skin improved dramatically. Your skin has improved, and I don't mean over the course of a few weeks, I mean within three days. It's really quite amazing. I think we still have an item or two we need to cut out, because four weeks into this you still have some patches of eczema. I think it's either nuts or mangoes, and cutting either out of my diet is going to make me cry. A lot. But it's worth it, and it gives me something to bitch about, so that's a plus.

When it's time for bed at the end of the day, we sit and I rock while you nurse. In the warm dark, we sway to and fro and you settle from a long day of babying. Sometimes you reach up and stroke my face as you begin to doze. And just before I put you into your crib, you rest on my shoulder and press your cheek against mine. I close my eyes and try to remember back to just a year ago, and it's a blur. I can only imagine how fast this next year will fly.

You bring such joy to our hearts, baby boy. Happy birthday.

love,
Mama

My tunes

2007-03-02T23:11:00.000-06:00

It's all here. I haven't held anything back, even though I probably should

10cc
A Flock of Seagulls
ABC
AC Newman
Adam Ant
Adam Richman
Aimee Mann, Michael Penn
Al Green
Alabama 3
Alexi Murdoch
Alicia Keys
Alison Krauss
and one
Andrés Segovia
Andrews Sisters with Vic Schoen & His Orchestra
The Andrews Sisters
The Andrews Sisters
Andy Russell
Ani DiFranco
Ani DiFranco & Aimee Mann
Another Bad Creation
Antonio Vivaldi
Aphex twin
Aretha Franklin
Arrested Development
Artie Shaw Orchestra
Asha Bhonsle, Udit Narayan, Vaishali & Chorus
Asian Dub Foundation
Avril Lavigne
B21
Backstreet Boys
Bad English
Bad Religion
Bally Sagoo
Bally Sagoo & Hans Raj Hans
Bananarama
The Bangles
The Be Good Tanyas
The Beastie Boys
The Beat
The Beatles
Bebel Gilberto
Beck
Becky Barksdale
Bedlam
Bela Fleck
Ben Folds Five
Benny Goodman & His Orchestra
Bet Williams
Beth Hart
Betty Hutton
Big Country
Bill Monroe & His Bluegrass Boys
Billie Holiday
Billy Bragg
Billy Joel
Billy Miles
Bing Crosby
Bjork
Black Eyed Peas
Blondie
Blossom Dearie
Blue Merle
Blue Swede
Blur
Bo Didley
Bob Dorough & Others
Bob Marley
Bob Mould
Bobby Byrd
Boho Zen
Bonnie Somerville
Boomtown Rats
Bowling For Soup
Boys Don't Cry
Boyz II Men
Brad Pitt
Brad Sucks
Brain Failure
Brand New Heavies
Brian McKinight
The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Bruce Springsteen
Bryan Ferry
Buck Owens
Buddy Holly & The Crickets
The Buggles
Burt Bacharach & Elvis Costello
Bush
Busta Rhymes
Cab Calloway/Blues Brothers
The Caesars
Caitlin McEwan
Cake
Call and Response
Camper Van Beethoven
The Canadian Brass
Carey Brothers
Carla Bruni
The Cars
Cat Stevens
The Centurions
Chamber Orchestra Of Europe / James Galway
Chance
Charles Aznavour
Charley Pride
Charlie Barnet & Orchestra
China Crisis
Christina Aguilera
Chuck Berry
Cibo Matto
Cirrus
Civ
Clann Zú
Climie Fisher
Clint Black
Cock Robin
Cocteau Twins
Coldplay
Colin Hay
Commodores
Cookie Monster
Cowboy Mouth
Cracker
Cream
Crispian Steele Perkins . Fraiser/English Chamber Orchestra
Crowded House
Culture Club
D'Nell
Daler Mehndi
Damn Yankees
Dan Zanes
Danya River
Darkness
Dave Carter And Tracy Grammer
Dave Lindley and El Ray-o X
Dave Matthews
David Allen Coe
David Bowie
David Gray
David Grisman
David Lee Roth
The Dazzband
De La Soul
Dead Eye Dick
Dead Meadow
Dean Martin
Dean Wormer
Deana Carter
The Dears
Death Cab For Cutie
DeBarge
Debbie Harry
Decibully
Deee-Lite
Degrassi
Del Amitri
Dennis Edwards
Des'ree/Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Desi Funk
Device
Devo
Dexy's Midnight Runners
Dhoom
Diana Ross
Dick Dale & The Del-Tones
Dick Haymes
Digital Underground
Dinah Shore
Dire Straits
Dirty on Purpose
Divinyls
Dixie Chicks
Dizzee Rascal
Dollar
Dolly Parton & Emmy Rossum
Don Nelson
Donald Fraiser . English Chamber Orchestra
Donna Regina
Donovan
The Doors
Doug Sahm & the Sir Douglas Quintet
Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg
The Dream Academy
Duke Ellington
Duran Duran
Dusty Springfield
Dwight Yokum
Echo & The Bunnymen
Echoes Of Nature
Eddie Kendricks
Eddy Grant
The Edgerton's Pen Conspiracy (EPC)
Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians
Edith Piaf
Edvard Grieg
Edwin Starr
Eisley
Electric Light Orchestra
Ella Fitzgerald
Ella Johnson
Ella Mae Morse
ELO
Elvis Costello
EMF
Emmy Rossum
Emmylou Harris
En Vogue
The Epochs
Ernie
Errore Stratta . Baroque Orchestra of Europe
Eurythmics
Evanescence
Eve 6
Everclear
Everlast
The Faces
Falco
Fastball
Fat Joe
Felix Mendelssohn
Felony
Fischer Z
Five for Fighting
The Fixx
Flatt and Scruggs
Fleetwood Mac
The Flirts
The Format
Fountains of Wayne
The Four Tops
France Gall
Frank Sinatra
Frank Zappa
Frankie Laine
Fred Astaire
Freedy Johnston
Frou Frou
The Fucking Champs
The Fun Boy Three
Gabriel Faure
Gang Of Four
Ganstarr & Macy Gray
The Gap Band
Gavin DeGraw
Gene Krupa Orchestra
General Public
George Baker
George Jones
George Thorogood
The Georgia Satellites
Gillian Welch
Gladys Knight & The Pips
Glenn Miller
The Go-Go's
Go West
Gorillaz
Graig David
Grammar Rock
Grateful Dead
Great Buildings
Green Day
Greg Kihn Band
Greg Schwartz
Guided By Voices
Haircut 100
Hall & Oates
Hanson
Harry James & His Orchestra
Harry Nilsson
Harvey Danger
Haysi Fantayzee
Heather Headly
Heather Nova
Heaven 17
Helen Forest
Helen O'Connell
Herbaliser
Hipsway
The Hives
The Honorary Title
Hoodoo Gurus
Hope 7
Hudson Klass & Dan Klass
Huey "Piano" Smith & The Clowns
Huey Lewis & The News
Human League
Human Sexual Response
Husker Du
Ian Dury & The Blockheads
The Icicle Works
India.Arie
The Infinity Room
Information Society
Ink Spots
Irene Cara
Iris Dement
Iron & Wine
J. Geils Band
Jack Johnson
The Jackson 5
Jackson Browne
Jake La Botz
The Jam
James Galway & Zagreb Soloists
The James Gang
James Levine . Ravinia Orchestra
Jamiroquai
Jan Hammer
Jane Birkin
Jane Child
Japan
Jason Mraz
Jay-Z
Jay Farrar
Jay Howlett
Jean-Luc Lahaye
Jeannie C. Riley
Jeff Tweedy & Jay Farrar
Jeffrey Foucault
Jeffrey Gaines
Jellybean
Jermaine Jackson
Jerree Small
Jerry Garcia-David Grisman
Jessi Colter
Jessica Harper
Jesus Jones
JET
Jethro Tull
Jimmy Cliff
Jimmy Dorsey & His Orchestra featuring vocals by Bob Eberly & Helen O'Connell
Jimmy Eat World
Jimmy Ruffin
Jism
Jo Stafford
Jo Stafford With Paul Weston & His Orchestra
JoBoxers
Joe Cocker
Joe Jackson
Joe Tex
Joe Walsh
Johann Pachelbel
Johann Sebastian Bach
John Belushi
John Hoskinson
John Legend
John Mayer
John Prine
John Vanderslice
John Waite
Johnnie Ray
Johnny Gill
Johnny Hallyday
Johnny Hates Jazz
Johnny Lee Hooker & Blues Brothers
Johnny Mercer
Johnny Mercer & The Pied Pipers
The Johnston Brothers
Jon Brion
Jonathan Coulton
Joshua Bell, Edgar Meyer, Sam Bush, Mike Marshall
Joss-Stone.net
Journey
Joy Division
Juice Newton
Jules Shear
Julian Bream
Julien Clerc & Carla Bruni
k.d. lang
Kaiser Chiefs
Kajagoogoo
Karen Jacobsen
Karl Münchinger; Stuttgart Chamber Orchestra
Kate Bush
Kate Ryan
Katrina & The Waves
Kay Kaiser & His Orchestra
Kay Kyser
Keely Smith & Louis Prima
Keith Burns
Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Willis & Jay Farrar
Kelly Willis & Son Volt
Killer Pussy
Kim Wilde
The Kingbees
The Kinks
Kishore Kumar-Mohd.Rafi
Kismat
Klark Kent
The Knack
Kool & The Gang
Kris Delmhorst
Kris Kristofferson - Willie Nelson - Lyle Lovett
Kris Kross
Kuldip Manak and Panjabi MC
Kyle Riabko
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Larry Zarella
Lata Mangeshkar
Laurie Berkner
The Lawrence Arms
Lefty Frizzell & Shelly West
Les Brown & His Orchestra featuring vocals by Doris Day
Les Negresses Vertes
Lionel Hampton
Lionel Richie
Live
The Lively Ones
Living In A Box
Lorenzo's Music
Loretta Lynn
Los Lonely Boys
Louie Prima w/Keely Smith
Louis Armstrong
Louis Jordan
Louis Prima
Low
Luigi Boccherini
Lyle Lovette
M
Maceo & The Macks
Madeleine Peyroux
Madonna
Malkit Singh
Man Bites God
Manda and the Marbles
Marc Von Em
Maria McKee
Mark Lemhouse
Mark Lizotte
Mark Mothersbaugh
Marlene Dietrich
Maroon 5
Marshall Crenshaw
Martha & The Muffins
Martha Reeves
Martha Tilton
The Marvelettes
Marvin Gaye
Mary Prankster
Mary Wells
Mason Jennings
Massive Attack
Matchbox Twenty
Mates of State
Matisyahu
Matt Vrba
Matthew Sweet
MC Lars
MC Solaar
Meditation
Melissa Etheridge
Men At Work
Merle Haggard
Michael Lord
Michael Penn
Michael Sembello
Michel Sardou & Garou
Michelle Shocked
Mike Meyers
The Mills Brothers
Miriam Makeba
Mirwais
Missing Persons
misty's big adventure
Moby
Modern English
Modest Mouse
Mohammed Rafi
Money Rock
The Monroes
Monsoon Wedding
The Motels
The Nails
Naked Eyes
Natacha Atlas
Naughty By Nature
Nelly Furtado
Nena
New Irish Chamber Orchestra / James Galway
New Pornographers
Nick Drake
Nick Lowe
Nikka Costa
Norah Jones
Now is Now
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
Oasis
Of Montreal
Old 97s
OMD
Opus De Salsa
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
The Originals
OST
Otis Redding
Overseer
Owsley
Pattern Is Movement
Patty Loveless
Paul Metsa
Paul Simon
Paul Young
Pedro The Lion
Peggy Lee
Pérez Prado
Perry Como
Pete Shelley
Pete Townsend
Peter Gabriel
Peter Himmelman
Peter Mayer
Peter Schilling
PG Six
The Pied Pipers
Pinchas Zuckerman & English Chamber Orchestra
Pink Floyd
Pixies
Plain White T's
The Pogues
The Polecats
The Police
Polyphonic Spree
Popjoy
Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton
Portishead
The Postal Service
The Power Station
The Pretenders
Pretty Girls Make Graves
Primus
Prince
The Psychedelic Furs
Punjabi MC
Q-Feel
Queen
Qurbani
R.E.M.
Radiohead
Radoslav Lorkovic
Rail Gaddi
Ralph Stanley, Ricky Skaggs, Keith Whitley, Roy Lee Carters
Randy Newman & Lyle Lovett
Ratatat
Ray Charles
Real Life
Rebirth Brass Band
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Reeltime Travelers
Remy Zero
Revels
Reverend Horton Heat
Rhett Miller
Richard Westenburg/Musica Sacra
Rick James
Rickie Lee Jones
Ricky Nelson
Ricky Scaggs
Robert Walch
Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians
Rockapella
Rockwell
The Rolling Stones
The Romantics
The Roots
Rosanne Cash
The Rosewood Fall
Round2
Roy Rogers
Rubber Rodeo
Rudolf Baumgartener . Festival Strings of Lucenrne
Rufus Wainwright
Runner & The Thermodynamics
RuPaul
S-K (with Calvin Johnson)
Saliva
Salt-N-Pepa
Sam & Dave
Sam Cooke
Sandy Rogers
Santana
Sara Evens
Sarah McLachlan
Saves The Day
Savina Yannatou
School House Rock
Scritti Politti
Seachange
Seal
Semisonic
Shanice
Shawn Colvin
Sheila
Shinehead
The Shins
shuttle358
Sigue Sigue Sputnik
Simon & Garfunkel
Single Bullet Theory
Sleater-Kinney
Sloan Wainwright
Slow Children
Sly Fox
Smashing Pumpkins
The Smear Campaign
The Smithereens
The Smiths
Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
Sneaker Pimps
So
Soft Cell
The Soggy Bottom Boys
Solomon Burke
Solomon Burke & Little Johnny Taylor
Son Volt
The Song Spinners
Sophie B. Hawkins
Soundtrack
Southern Culture On The Skids
Spandau Ballet
Sparks & Jane Wiedlin
The Specials
Spiraling
Split Enz
Squeeze
Stan, Cartman and Kyle
The Statler Brothers
Steely Dan
Stereo Nation
Stevie Nicks
Stevie Wonder
Sting
Stranglers
Stray Cats
Stray Cats
Stuart Davis
Styx
Sugar Cubes
The Sundays
Sweet Honey In The Rock
T'Pau
Taking Back Sunday
Talk Talk
Tall Tales And True
Tammy Wynette & George Jones
Tchaikovsky, Peter Ilyich
Tears For Fears
Techtronic
Teena Marie
Telepopmusik
The Temptations
Tex Beneke & The Modernaires
They Might Be Giants
Thicke
Thievery Corporation
This Mortal Coil/Elizabeth Fraser
Thomas Dolby
The Thompson Twins
Tim Eriksen And Riley Baugus
Timbuk 3
TLC
Today
Tom Petty
Tomaso Albinoni
Tommy Dorsey And Orchestra
Tompall Glaser
Tonio K.
Tony Bennett
Tony Martin
Tool
Toots and the Maytals
Topaz
The Tornadoes
Total Coelo
Tracy Bonham
Train
Trevor Bacon
Trip Shakespeare
Trout Fishing in America
The Tubes
U2
Ultravox
Uncle Tupelo
United
Urge Overkill
Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
The Valets
Van Halen
Van Morrison
The Vapors
Vaughn Monroe and The Norton Sisters
The Verve
The Vibro Champs
Victor Spinetti
Violent Femmes
Viva Voce
Vladimir Spiakov . Moskow Virtuosi
Waitresses
Wall Of Vodoo
Warren Zevon
The Waterboys
Waylon Jennings
Ween
Wendy Gelsanliter
The Wes Hollywood Show
When In Rome
The White Stripes
White Zombie
The Who
Wilco
Willie Nelson
The Willowz
Winston
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Wolfgang Rübsam
Woody Herman & Orchestra
Yonder Mountain String Band
Young MC
Yves Montand
Zero 7

Snow day

2007-03-02T13:22:00.000-06:00

We got a little snow overnight.

Upstairs view:

She's standing here. On her feet.
With snowshoes:

Out our hall window:

Dude

2007-03-02T10:37:00.000-06:00

luuurves his doggie

Things I never thought I'd hear on network tv

2007-02-27T14:55:00.000-06:00

"The vagina is a self-cleaning oven. You don't want to put anything in there."