1-1/2-year sentence

"Bye, Dada!"

Quack

is what I imagine the ducks said when they saw the fox/opossum/racoon/whatever coming at them last night. It translates to "Why the hell did that madwoman force us to sleep outside the safety of the coop and bed down with these disgusting goats?"

It's because they constantly spilled all the water out of the fonts which led to constantly wet bedding, which led to respiratory disease, which led to Coccidiosis, which led to five (six? more?) dead broilers, two more sick ones, and a sick layer. So far.

So. I put them out thinking that they'd be safe and the chickens would get better and here I am with no more ducks. Fuck fuck fuckityfuckfuck.

So. No more ducks. None more.

And where the fuck is the trapper, already?

Bitch-B-Gone

I complain. A lot. A whole lot. I know this. And I really do want to stop, because I hear myself and think, ""Who the hell wants to be around you, skeedge?" So when I heard about this, I thought to myself, "Self? Don't you think this would be a good thing to try?" And the answer, apparently, was yes. So I have my bracelet on even as we speak.

I expect it will take me a month of Sundays to get to 21 days. And that's okay. At least I'm giving it a shot, kwim? But the big question arises: what, exactly, is complaining? Is telling Perp (for the 52,495th time) to take off her shoes before she comes in the house, is that complaining? Of course me ranting about the goddamned dog burying her freaking toy at the base of my passionflower and killing it just as it was about to go into extravagant bloom is complaining, but I don't know many people who would hold it against me. But it still counts so I'm glad it happened yesterday.

So. Watch this space for complaint-free blogging!



As if.



PS, what, to you, constitutes complaining?

Adam Scott totally stuffs

I only say this because FIL is here for dinner and he's a golf nut so we're watching the whatever-cup-or-tourney that's on today. And this Scott kid? Toooootally stuffing. I'm just saying. But maybe he's a mutant and should do porn, but he probably makes more money on these balls than he would with his own, so it's probably a wise career move.


But still. S T U F F I N G.