Pork roasty goodness

Oh sweet mother of god:

pork shoulder roast (bone-in good)
kosher salt, maybe 1/2 - 3/4 c
handful of fresh sage leaves, chopped
2-3 garlic cloves, smashed
mashed up szechuan peppercorns (from penzeys) <---- this is my particular favorite. You may not love them as much as I do but if you don't I can't speak to you anymore.

Mix everything in a bowl and rub onto pork. Let it sit for at least 2 hours.

Cook at 450. Use a thermometer for to not overcook. Good lord. I think mine went about an hour and a half. If you tossed in some spuds at about an hour? OMG.

Overheard

Perp reading The Little Engine that Could: Once upon a time there was a little choo-choo. "I like to do lots of things. I can go up hills. I wish I could pee."

Urologist-to-be?

Stupid calendar

I've had myself convinced that today was the 9th and my Meg Swensen DVD was going to be in my hot little hands this morning. Clearly I am wrong. Dammit!

Dude, when you can't even remember what the hell day it is? Time for an intervention.*




















*And I mean all week, not just today. ALL. WEEK.

Thank you for your support

I own two three non-nursing bras. I bought the main two when I was pregnant with Perp, which means I got them in October 2003. I have not replaced them nor even considered doing so until recently. I mean, they're holding together remarkably well, they're still white, and I don't appear to have changed size, even if I have shown remarkable, uh, attention to the laws of gravity.

So why haven't I gotten new ones since then? Is it because I find it painful to buy new clothes for myself? That replacing them when they aren't torn, snagged, or stained seems wasteful? Or maybe I don't want to show my new boobs to a stranger when I get sized (just curious if I'm really the same size or if all that extra just happens to fill the same space, when you smash it into the cup).

I think part of it is that while I have no problem buying clothes for everyone else in the family, I feel guilty when I do it for myself. I almost only buy from Target, and only if it's on deep discount. I only get utilitarian things, which makes sense given the likelihood of my being covered in random food substaces or pig/goat/chicken shit.

Part of it is also that I hardly ever wore a bra before I had the kids. I wore these little sports-bra-meets-camisole dealies that did nothing but add another layer, and that was okay. Back in the day I had these gravity-defying funbags that had to be seen to be believed. Oh, how I wish I'd taken pictures of them. The things you never thought you'd say..

So anyway, I didn't wear them, or when I did they were entirely the wrong size so I got rid of a bunch and never replaced them. And now I have my trusty friends, workhorses that WILL NOT DIE SO I CAN REPLACE THEM.

Maybe it's time to hold an old-fashioned bra burning.

Too many cool sites

out there these days. But with the rampant consumerism absolutely insane expectations holiday season upon us, perhaps you'll find this handy. It's so cool! You can set it so spouses don't draw each others' names, even. Damn. Clever, these elves.

I swear to god I hit submit

yet there's no Monday post.

Ah well. I think I beat last year's record for fucking up. Woohoo!

Cookie goodness

I worked these up on the theory that they'd be good for Dude and his stupid gluten intolerance. Imagine my surprise when I found out that oats have gluten in them. *sigh*

So. If you (or someone you know) can't have wheat because of a wheat allergy, rather than a gluten intolerance, these are great. Crispy on the edges, chewy in the center, and no one I gave them to could tell they were wheat free.

1 c butter
1 c white sugar
1 c brown sugar
1 T vanilla
1 t baking soda
2 eggs
1 t salt
1 T xanthan gum
1/3 c rice flour
2 c tapioca flour
1 bag chocolate chips
2 c quick (NOT instant) oats --if you like an oatier texture, use the regular oats, the ones that take 3-5 minutes to cook. If you use the quick ones, most people won't even notice them, but the cookies will have a wonderful texture that's nothing like those sandy gluten-free cookies.


Work just like a regular cookie recipe, cream butter/sugar, add eggs, etc.

Bake at 375 until nice and brown.

I think if I make them again I'll also add 1-2 T flax seeds; good fiber and a little crunch to boot.

Even if you're not wheat free, give these a try. They're really fantastic.

Don't know much about history

or football, but I know funny.

Ribbit

I'm working up a Baby Surprise Jacket and until just now I thought I was really kicking some BSJ ass. But I'm 3 sts short for the first increase row so I guess I have to frog it and start over. BUT! I found this really cool site that has a modernized pattern written out. I think I'll love this, but Zimmermann's directions are a bit ... loosey goosey.

So I'm starting it over again. Wish me luck!

New for the Spring 2008 Prostitot collection

This kind of thing is a particular problem for me, the clothing of small girls in mini-me whore clothes. Dressing toddlers in pants that say YUMMY across the ass are isn't cute, it's appalling. Imagine my surprise when I heard about Celia Rivenbark, who seems to feel exactly the same way I do.

Children are not miniature adults and they should not be dressed as such. I don't know why that's so hard for parents to understand. And don't give me that, "But I don't want her to be picked on," or "I don't know about fashion, what am I supposed to do?" bullshit. You're supposed to say NO. Do your goddamned job, dude. Don't be her friend; be her father.

It's hard enough raising (or being) a girl in this culutre. Why subject her to its ugly side any sooner than you have to?

I suppose this is the proper time to admit that I've been making Perp a bunch of burquas. They're in pretty colors! Of course, since she's going to live in the basement until she's 30, I suppose it doesn't really matter what she wears.

NaBloPoMo!!

It's baaaaaack.

I totally forgot today was November so I have nothing to say but I'm taking another shot at it. I hope it takes me longer to forget to post this time.

Can you hear the howling, Clarice?

Okay, that title will prove to be completely inappropriate, but I kind of like it. Shut up!

Perp was washing her doll, Coyote last night, and I realized, oh my god God, she named her doll Coyote. What the hell? Where on earth did that come from? Then I realized, hell, she already has a doll she named Yes (very popular with the boy dolls), an invisible friend named Trupe/Troop/Troupe (she can't spell it so I don't know), another invisible friend called Commando, an invisible dog named Buster. Quite the stable. She also demands that we role-play. Recently, while under her weird mind control, I spent an hour being Gus, a classmate of hers. I like him. He likes to lie on the floor and pretend to sleep. Imagine the coincidence, so do I!

Go figure.

Cross-cultural pollination

Perp and Dude are watching the Street, as they are wont to do every morning. I don't love the idea but what the hell, we're Amerian parents and we may as well buy in. Aaaaanyway, call me crazy, but I think Mr. Noodle just missed taking a ride with Travis Bickle. WTF?

Let us praise

the Magic Eraser. Yeah, it's good for cleaning walls. It's suitable for removing crayon from various surfaces. It's even showing up on the heads of mops (though that seems like a spectacular waste, given how fast they fall apart). All this is true, yes.

But.

Here's what I bet you didn't know: the Magic Eraser, glory of glories, will remove ground-in, dried-up poop from your bathroom grout.

Don't ask; I have no idea, either.

Here's why Dooce sucks

Flor

Sometimes I surprise myself

I've been looking--off and on--for at least a year, for this story Husband and I heard on NPR a few years ago. It was about this guy who was hitchhiking to a bluegrass competition and got picked up by a young couple and their various adventures together. All I could remember was that the young man could jimmy open Coke machines (v proud of this fact) and his girlfriend was a shoplifter and the story was HYSTERICAL.

And tonight, after whining about it on Ravelry's NPR group, I found it. I found it!

Ridin' with Junior McGee

Oh, Chandra,

I'm so disappointed. I posted this at 7:13 this evening

Baby ate meth, the explosion was because the parents were cooking up a batch.


Between that and the deer last week, I'd say this show has officially jumped a very large shark.

Approximately four minutes later, lo. And behold. I am prescient.

Either that or the writers are on a SERIOUS plot vacation. Or both, but whatever, now I have space in my season pass queue.

Dear Dude

If you don't take a nap, I'm going to lose my shit. Seriously. I mean it.

Please. Work with me on this.

I would like to see you like this within the next 30 minutes.

















Thank you for your consideration,
Mama

A&P

is about to kick my ass. I just cracked the book for my 5-week course and I nearly died. I haven't taken chemistry in something like 10 years. My math skillz? Rusty. Six hours a week to spare on studying the digestive system? Unlikely.

But I'm doing it anyway. Psych is turning out to be such a cake walk that I may as well do something challenging, right?

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to school I go.

Avast!

It's Talk Like a Pirate day!

So ahoy, me hearties! Bring me one noggin of rum, now, won't you, matey?