Welcome to the world, baby boy

Thursday, March 2: My mw, Monica, came over for a prenatal/pep session to try and get the baby repositioned and keep me from pulling my hair out. Perp was a week late, and I was well past that milestone by now, so I was more than a little depressed/pissed at still being pregnant. From now on, I'm using the outside EDD and ignoring the 40-week one.

I did inversions, squatted, Monica jiggled my belly with a rebozo, I had chamomille tea, and she took me on a forced march through the knee-deep snow in our field. Twice. She also did a VE and said I was around 3-4 cm, about where I'd been for the last two weeks or so. She did a membrane sweep and it was so different from the ones my OB did. Didn't hurt one little bit!

That night I woke up with some af-like cramps, but they went away as soon as I got up (as always). So, back to bed.

Friday morning, MIL called and said, "Hey, there's a sale at Younkers, let's go and we'll run Perp around the mall." This is a nearly-closed mall in town, where you could fire a cannon on most days and not hit a living soul, so it's perfect in the winter for exercising toddlers. Plus, there's a saddle shop with a huge plastic horse and if THAT isn't exciting, I don't know what is.

We trudged around two circuits and I decided to try and pee, since, hey, I had to go ALL THE TIME. I went into the bathroom and sat and waited and strained and waited and didn't have any luck, so I suited back up and went to find MIL and Perp. We got to the car and my phone rang. It was Monica, calling to have me come in and have an adjustment to see if that might not help move Smacky into position. MIL and I decided to go into town and have lunch before hand so that we could leave Monica's and just pop Perp into her crib for her nap.

We got to the restaurant and sat down and I decided to have another go at the toilet. I was sitting there, miserable, squeezing out a drop at a time (didn't matter what position I tried, even the stand-n-sit, which had served me so well before, didn't work). Then this bitch came in and sat in the stall next to me and whizzed away like a freaking racehorse and it was all I could do not to bust down her door and rip her hair out.

Back go the clothes. I waddled back to my chair and we watched Perp play with straws and sugar packets until our food came. I think I got about half way through it before I realized that *these* were real ctx and I was not going to be having that adjustment, after all.

We went to Monica's office and I told her we needed to go, and she did a quick check (5 cm!), and we boogied on out and back to my place. Kinda funny that I was two minutes from the hospital when I finally did go into labor. I called Husband and told him to go hook up the hose 'cause we were in business and he hopped into his car, but MIL and I passed him up on the way out of town. I think we beat him home by about two minutes.

Monica and Deb, the assistant, were right behind Husband, and we all piled into our room to fill the tub and find me a good position to labor in. I mostly did the same as with Perp, leaning on the bed with my belly hanging off, feet on the floor. The ctx were really weird, I don't think many of them were much longer than a minute or *maybe* a minute and a half, and I never got out of my head. I'd be telling a story, have a ctx and have to concentrate/breathe, then go right back into the story, so I figured I was going to be at this a while.

I started to have some back labor, I suppose while AMP's head was rotating, maybe, and I sat on the ball and had Deb do some furious counterpressure, which felt AWESOME. If I only felt the ctx in the front, they really weren't that bad. But with back labor, I can totally understand how women are calling ahead to have the epidural waiting when they arrive at L&D.

So poor Husband is kind of pacing around, not sure what to do, and Monica sent him down to boil water on the stove. He actually needed to, since we used all the hot water in the heater, but it was also a nice job for him to have. With the drained water heater and enough cold to make it temperate, the tub was only about 6" full, so I couldn't get in until the stove water was added and then more cold. But as soon as there was enough in there, I just about dove in. HOLY. COW. I can't believe the difference. Unbelieveable. So I think I got in about 3:00, and around 3:30, my water broke. What a weird sensation! I mean, it's not part of you, it has no nerves, and yet there's no mistaking it when it happens. Moderate meconium in the fluid but at 10 days past EDD, I guess that's no surprise.

Monica warned me that ctx tend to get pretty intense after the water breaks (oh, how I remember that with Perp), but these really didn't, at least they didn't get more painful. I had a couple more ctx and thought that maybe, maybe I felt a bit pushy, but I wasn't sure, and Monica said, "Well, if you feel like pushing, push." So I waited and then it was like I was on this locomotive hauling ass down a huge hill and there was NO WAY I wasn't going to push, no matter how hard I might want to hold back. So this is what all those TV women are trying to get across! Aha!

Pushing this time was so different. I could feel him move down, probably because he was rocketing out. It was so intense, so overpowering, all I could do was hang on and shove when my body told me to. When he started to crown, I yelled, "This kid's got a big head!" and then another push and the head was out. Bliss. Those little turkey necks are a real blessing right at that moment.

Monica had me scootch back and sort of squat (I'd been on my hands and knees until then) and I was terrified I'd sit on his head and mash him back in or hurt him, but I managed it enough, and we waited for the next ctx, which seemed like forever. Then, one push and he just slid right out.

He had a nuchal cord and was the color of a blueberry, but as soon as we unwrapped the cord and suctioned his nose, he coughed and pinked right up.

I never had the chance to use those damn antibiotics I fought so hard to get, though with the speed of it all, the research basically says don't worry, and I never could have had the second dose in the first place. Hell, getting the first one probably would have led to him being born in the waiting room. We charted his temps for 24 hours and they were all fine, and he's certainly perky, so unless the ped wants to do a WBC, I think we're out of the woods. Not having an IV was certainly a nice experience, I have to say. And I didn't puke!

I did lose more blood than average (my hgb was below 7!), but I felt fabulous afterwards and I can pee, pee, pee anytime I want to. I'm like a freaking fountain. There are no words for how great that is. I did the math and I have peed off around 2.5 gallons (GALLONS!) of water.

I had two tears, but not enough to require sutures if I wanted to refuse them, so I did. I just have to remember not to drink anything acidic... yipe!

God, I'm going to be such the homebirth pimp from now on, I'm probably going to lose some friends over it. But one actually wanted Monica's number! Wonder if I get a prize for referrals...?

A. M. P., 3/3/06, 9 lb 2 oz, 21.5"