Saturday, November 04, 2006


I spent a couple of hours with some friends at a (soon-to-be) weekly stitch & bitch. I scheduled it at the local yarn store because they have nice spots to sit and work, and it's upstairs from a coffee shop. Score.

I'm working on a crossstitch piece for a friend (hey, Z!) and one of these days I'll actually finish it. I think booking time each week to do it is the way to go; otherwise who knows when I'll actually get to it.

We were talking about taking time alone and commenting that we often felt guilty leaving the kids with our husbands. Like we were asking a lot of them to give us a few hours to do something for ourselves. What the hell is that all about? Yes, some of us have husbands who work full time. But, um, raising kids isn't exactly a part-time job. So why do we feel bad asking for some time off? We do this 24/7 and office jobs can be left behind. What is it with the guilt? I shouldn't feel bad about it for a single second, but I do. Husband has no problem going out for happy hour with coworkers once in a while, and this is pretty much the equivalent, though it's in the morning and sans alcohol ... that isn't the equivalent at all, is it? Whatever, I still should be able to just leave the house without a backward glance and go do my thing for a few hours, but it's terribly hard. And I'm not a guilt person by nature. WTF?

You know you have the same problem. Why is that?


Devan said...

I started going to mother's nights out once a month about 6 months ago. At first I felt guilty, but not for long. Now I try to go every weekend if I can and I have to tell you that it makes me so much happier. I need (as does everyone I think) some time away from kids - where you can breath and enjoy your dinner without trying to corrall a toddler every 2 minutes.

I felt guilty because:
1 - I was sure d would miss me terribly and cry hysterically and no one (not even daddy) can take care of him like me.
***** not true! figured that one out pretty quickly.

2 - Motherhood is about sacrifice. Says who?! Society maybe? Maybe the way we were raised. dunno...
****** Anyway, I figure if I do the mothering thing 24 hours a day for 6.8 days a week then I deserve (i.e. need!) a few hours for me. period.

3 - my dh used to act like he was "babysitting"
Hello moron! HE's your kid too!! You can't babysit your own kid.
****** Now he gets it. Plus he plays/practices rugby 2x a week so he gets "me" time too. Plus he can shut the door when he goes to the bathroom so I think it's more than a fair trade.

Therefore, my guilt is gone and I RUN out of the house for MNO. I predict that if you keep going you will eventually stop feeling guilty too.

gearhead mama said...

I totally know what you mean. I have had precious little time to myself in the last 15 months, and the strain is really starting to show. In fact, just today I was thinking about needing to get away from it all for a while. Both my husband and I work all day (me at home, him at work), and all night until dd is in bed. But when he's at work, he's alone. He can pee when he wants, eat when he wants, etc., etc. Granted, he doesn't get to take a nap (I don't always either), but you get my drift.

I have a mom's night out scheduled for next week, and it can't come fast enough. Also, the husband has some vacation to burn up before the year is over. I'm going to suggest some daddy-daughter days -- OUT OF THE HOUSE!