Drunk with power

So I didn't tell you about Thanksgiving, did I? WELL! My dad and stepmother were here, along with MIL, FIL, BIL and SIL. The ILs, if you will.

I got a ginormous (organic!) turkey at the co-op and hemmed and hawed and freaked out for a few days before I lit upon the original and rarely done idea of brining it. I know! Who knew you could do such a thing?!

3 gallons water
3 c kosher salt
1 c brown sugar
1 orange peel
many, many smashed garlics
handful of peppercorns
lots of dried rosmary that was too old to be of any use but what the hell

The bird was still frozen on Tuesday when I started this all up, but I figured since it had to live on the porch in a cooler, I needed to get a headstart. So I lobbed the gobbler into a big garbage bag, poured the brine into the bag, and tied it all up. Then I shut the cooler and went inside for many drinks.

You must not forget to flip the bird occasionally. I did not forget, but someone might, and you cannot forget to flip the bird. Seriously, it's like the only time you can do some bird flipping without someone else getting up in your grill and wanting to start a fight, so take full advantage, people.

The morning of TD, I rinsed the bird out, poured the brine into the driveway (gee, I hope the lawn survives), and my dad made the stuffing. About two hours into the job, I checked on the bird and saw that it was browning super fast (remember the brown sugar?), so I (okay, Husband did it) put two layers of foil on it and went on my merry way. My dad went in to peek and started to shriek about how it was burning and how hot was the oven, my god, man, how hot is it? "Five hundred." Cue wailing and gnashing of parental teeth. So to keep the peace I turned it down to 400. This is where the "drunk with power" part kicks in:

Let me tell you, they're still talking about that bird. The juiciness. The crispiness of the skin (which, in my opinion, is the whole reason to roast a bird, so you can feast upon many square feet of crispified bird surface). The flavor! So piquant! And I have to stop here and give myself props for the gravy, which was excellent. And copious; I do so hate to run out of gravy before I run out of leftovers.

We had many kick-ass sides, MIL made pies a-plenty (mmmm, pumpkin, ew minced meat), and I had the traditional okay-Thanksgiving-is-officially-over sandwich at about 6 pm. Yesterday I put the rest of the leftovers (turkey on the bottom, then gravy, which is the only acceptable way to reheat turkey) into a tub for the freezer. In a few weeks, we can relive the joy of excess and all we have to do is find the damn thing.

So neener, Dad. I always cook my birds fast and they're always juicy and delish. Never doubt me again!