Sunday, November 23, 2008

Gobble gobble

Today was the day of destiny for two of our turkeys. Husband dispatched, plucked, and cleaned them and now we let them sit until Thursday, when we will gorge ourselves silly and thank the turkeys for their ultimate sacrifice. I had really hoped to keep a pair of them as breeders but we still can't tell who's a hen and who's a tom, and my god they eat a lot, so all four (someone got the fifth last night, if you can believe it) are going to meet their maker.

I hope they're good. The chickens certainly have been, so I'm going to assume we're in for a treat come T-Day.

In other non-death related news:
Fat Baby is doing really well. Her jaundice is clearing up nicely, and she gained 6 oz between Tuesday and Friday. I expect she'll be back to her birth weight or better by her 2 week check on Tuesday. Two weeks! How the hell did that happen?

Perp and Dude continue to be fascinated, if a bit dangerous. They either don't get the concept of being gentle with her, or they are trying to off her in subtle ways. I really can't be sure which. Good thing babies are tougher than they look.

I can't get the kids to play outside, or even go for a walk. Christ, it's going to be a long winter.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

This must be a typo



eta: out of stock now, or they caught the error and I'm going to receive an email that makes me do frowny face because they won't honor the price. Hope for the former, eh?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Smack Attack!

Our second daughter made a bit of an early appearance this morning. Her official due date was Thanksgiving, but she decided to grace us at 6:33 am on my father's birthday (clearly a Very Good Baby already). I don't know how to break it to him that I got him the most awesomest present of evah but he can't have it. I suppose I can loan her out on occasion.

She weighed in at 8 lb 8 oz, 19.5 inches long. I'm not sure if you can make out the incredible fat rolls, but this kid could give a sumo a run for his money. She has quite the ham hocks going on there.

It was a longer labor than I expected (7h) but since most of the ctx were only around 30-45 seconds, it wasn't really too bad until my water broke. Then things got Fairly Intense but it was by far the shortest stage of the labor. I cannot imagine doing this labor without the tub. CAN NOT. Apparently I'm quite the gymnast when I push. I think I nearly climbed out at one point, trying to find the right position for leverage and to get the hell away from that giant melon (okay, only 13.5", but from the inside it feels like a bowling ball. Can I get an amen?).

Best of all: no tears! No sutures! It doesn't hurt to pee and I'm not afraid to poop. Wow.

The kids woke up just as she was being born, so by the time they got into our room, we had her all wrapped up with a teeny lid. More interesting to go watch tv, though.

We're still working on names. We need her face to unflatten a bit before I can tell who she is, plus we still have a list of four or five we have to narrow down. It may take a few days. Good thing she has no concept of time.

The kids are so far quite fascinated and want to be around her all the time. They each have a baby wrapped up in a receiving blanket that they're toting around. I expect this will fade as they realize just how much time babies take up, but you never know.

I'm also proud to say I introduced one of my midwives to The Daily Show while we waited things out. She will never be the same.

All in all, a good day's work.


er, for those not in the know, Smacky is our all-purpose fetal name since we don't find out gender at ultrasounds. Hence the title. It has nothing to do with fondness for heroin. Mostly.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


With both Perp and Dude, once I had the lovely bloody show, it meant babytime was imminent. Like within a few hours. It would appear that the third child syndrome mantra "expect the unexpected" is repeated for a reason.

Still here. Still waiting. Still no contractions. Bah.

Not to jump the gun or anything

but I think Smacky may make an appearance today. We shall see.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Here's to hope

Husband took the carpet sharks out to see Madagascar, and I'm bouncing on a ball trying to get these contractions turn into Something rather than Nothing.

If you have any pull with the Uterus People, please put in a good word for me.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


Thank dog it's over. And I don't even have to stay up late.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Conservation of mess

If you took chemistry in HS or college, you probably remember the concept of conservation of mass. I now posit there is a corollary: despite how much you clean, purge, declutter, and generally empty a space, children will achieve Conservation of Mess. I cleaned most of the downstairs today and a good portion of the upstairs. To compensate for this loss of mess, the kids managed, in the space of about 45 nanoseconds, to trash several previously cleaned spots.

What. the fuck?

OT: Dude just peed standing up and said, "It's a good thing when I pee potty. Rock on!"

OT2: I contemplated washing the kitchen floors today. No, not mopping. Washing. On my hands and knees. Perhaps I nest?