Sunday, April 29, 2007

Her name is Breakfast

Now the boys need names.

If you could see

how FREAKING CUTE Dude is when he dances, well, I don't know, I think your ovaries would explode. Unless you have a different set of gonads in which case you would probably puke instead. Puke with joy!

He is especially fond of the goats (we need names, they're boys), and I'll post pictures tonight if I can get my shit together after I round them up for the night. He hugs them like they're dogs. He also hugs dogs. Fine, our dog.

They folllow us around like dogs, so it's no wonder he thinks they're for hugging. And really, since they're bottle babies, they kind of are for hugging. Squee!

Dude and Perp are recovering from a wicked case of pinkeye. Luckily, it seems to be bacterial so it's clearing up well with drops. Drops from hell. Hell Drops from hell. I can't believe how tight they can squeeze those little lids together. I remember when I was small and had to have several eye operations and the torture of the Hell Drops. So I can sympathize. Empathize, even. But I'm still giving them the drops.

A cow just waleked past on Signing Time: "She has nahnas*," observed Perp. The child is obsessed with the bo0bies.

*I have NO idea how to spell it. NAnas. Nahnas. Nanas?

Because I'm morbid

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?

You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away from swimming holes, and stick to good old cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when your toe scrapes the bottom.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

Saturday, April 28, 2007

In which my stupidity continues to astound me

So. Today. Carlton swap. For those of you who don't know what that is (all but about 5, I'm guessing), it's this farmy free-for-all at which you can buy (as I recall): goats; pigs; chickens; ducks; geese; pigeons; peafowl; guineas; cattle; horses and ponies; llamas and alpacas; puppies and kittens. Also, baked goods, seedlings, and various random crap.

I showed up with a tarp spread out in the wayback, three large cages, and $200 cash. Safer that way, really.

Did you know that you can fit 9 chickens, two goats, and a pig in the back of a minivan? You can! My poor car will never be the same. Husband reminds me: and a bale of hay!

Here's why I'm an idiot: I was so wound up by the crowds of people I had to drive through/past, a freaked out Dude in his baby containment device Catherine wheel car seat, and oodles of caffeine on an empty stomach that I forgot to ask what the babies have been eating, whether they've been vaccinated, at what age they were neutered, etc. Dog help me. So cross all available digits that I'm not going to fuck up their rumens in a fatal kind of way, eh?

The pig? Same thing. But I think they're a bit more elastic when it comes to eating so I'm not as freaked out. But I do have to figure out if she's been vaccinated yet so I don't go doubling up on anything.

Hey, if you have any experience with the pigs or the goats, drop me a line, huh?

Also, if you have some name ideas for the kids (ha! kids! It's funny because it's true), we're still looking. I kind of like Adam and Steve because I'm all subversive & shit. Husband offered Stan and Kyle which I find pretty amusing. Right now they're just the boys.

I'll post pictures when I shoot some without naked chirrun in the frame. What IS it with babies and nakey butt, anyway?

Oh, also? I think that we officially qualify as a farm, so we gots to name it. If we had the appropriate geographical, er, apparatus, I'd call it Moot Point.

As you were.

Monday, April 09, 2007


If you're a praying type, please send one up for Abbi and her family.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

What the hell, people?

My infernal computation device is giving me fits. I shut it down last night, turned it back on this morning, and now all the fonts and icons are fucked up. Some are too large, some are too small. It looks like the screen resolution was changed, but it says it's not changed.

I've tried adjusting the fonts and sizes, resolution, and messed with the options in Firefox. No go.

Also weirdness: it said that I'd installed new hardware, but I ain't. Also weirdly, it was related to video (video controller, VAG-compatible). I did not install a video controller. I'm supposed to insert a CD to load the driver but of course I have no such animal. I'm looking for a driver but I don't know whose controller it is. ...

No viruses. No malware. No weird security issues, at least that come up on scans.

Help? Help!

Ha HA! It was a driver that went walkabout for some reason. Everything *seems* to be better. I'll know tonight if that's the case. Thanks for the moral support, D.

This about sums it up


Guess I should have held off on planting those peas.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Car hell -now with photos!-

Last week: to dealer about battery that keeps crapping out on me and tire that keeps losing air.
"Have a seat, it'll be about an hour."
*trot off to waiting area. Surf on handy free intermanet.*
"Nothing wrong, see ya. Take the tire to Firestone, they're the only ones who can fix it."
*trot off to Firestone*
"Come back in two days and we can fix it or replace them. Lucky you, you have an extended warranty because the production run of these tires was for shite. But first go to the dealership so they can register the bad tires and do the warranty paperwork, then bring it back here."
*trot home. Two days later, go back to the dealership, and then Firestone*
"Hey, I smell a mouse, can you take a look while you've got it in the back?"
"Sure. It'll be 2-3 hours, we'll call you when it's done. Go to B&N and read."
*trot off to B&N to read*
Five hours later, "Yeah, we're almost done, we can pick you up in 15-30 minutes. Wait outside."
Wait outside. Cold. Wet. Windy.
Back to dealership to finish paperwork for warranty. "We don't smell a mouse."
"Huh. I could swear I ... Whatever. Kthxbye."
Today: coffee with a friend; notice car doesn't seem to have quite the power it should when passing on the bridge. After coffee, notice check engine and VSC lights are on. Call Husband: "Better take it in. It's under warranty." Agree, noting am already on the way.
*trot back to dealership* Notice that with gas pedal to the floor, car only makes it to about 30 mph with much effort on car's part. Hm. "Say. I think there's something wrong with my car." Explain 30 mph issue.
"I'll plug it into the computer." Gets computer, comes back. Repeat weirdness about speed/how car felt like it wanted to die climbing hill to dealership. "Oh. We can't use the computer for that. Go sit. We'll have a mechanic check it out."
*trot off to waiting room. Again. Entertain Dude for an hour. Ah yes, forgot to mention presence of 1 year old.*
"Yeah. Um. You have a GIANT mouse nest in your engine. (HA! -ed.) It ate through the wires which is why you can't go fast. Safety mode. Must replace wiring and [some part I can't remember]. Come look!"
Observe large quantity of insulation, grass, leaves, behind engine in location necessitating removal of many large parts. Of course.

Further notice nearly intact bird wing. Decorative touch?

"Good thing it's still under warranty! Tee hee."
"Yeah. Not for this kind of thing. Say, give us 4-5 hours and we'll fix it!"
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck." I have a toddler what needs a nap and entertainment. "Drive me to Husband's office and I'll take his car home."
"It's a deal!"
*trot to Husband's office, take his car home, weep on couch over impending repair bill and having to move pig of a carseat back into my car. Post my woeful story for all (some) to read and commiserate*

Hop to it!