Yeah.
I honestly don't know which angle to go with here. Birth control? Waxing? The American Anti-Speculum League?
And on a totally unrelated note, the trailers filmed for the start of Tropic Thunder are HIlarious. If I ever make a movie, I want it shown at the Beijing Movie Festival and to be nominated for the coveted Crying Monkey Award.
That is all.
P's playing with a jelly treat and drops it.
Me: Better grab it before it runs away.
P: Food doesn't move.
Me: Piggies move.
Whining child: Not when they're cooked.
*squirt*
"Dude, was that you?"
"Yeah!"
"Did you poop?"
"Yeah!" Arms up in air. Grin. "Big!"
Perp reading The Little Engine that Could: Once upon a time there was a little choo-choo. "I like to do lots of things. I can go up hills. I wish I could pee."
Urologist-to-be?
I've been looking--off and on--for at least a year, for this story Husband and I heard on NPR a few years ago. It was about this guy who was hitchhiking to a bluegrass competition and got picked up by a young couple and their various adventures together. All I could remember was that the young man could jimmy open Coke machines (v proud of this fact) and his girlfriend was a shoplifter and the story was HYSTERICAL.
And tonight, after whining about it on Ravelry's NPR group, I found it. I found it!
Ridin' with Junior McGee
It's Talk Like a Pirate day!
So ahoy, me hearties! Bring me one noggin of rum, now, won't you, matey?
Don't you?
Think About It
There’s children on the street using guns and knives
Taking drugs and each other’s lives
Killing each other with knives and forks
Calling each other names like ‘dork’
There’s people on the street getting diseases from monkeys
Yeah, that’s what I said - they’re getting diseases from monkeys
Now there’s junkies with monkey disease
Who’s touching these monkeys, please
Leave these poor sick monkeys alone
They’ve got problems enough as it is.
Man’s lying on the street
Some punk’s chopped off his head
I’m the only one who stops
To see if he’s dead
Mmm…
Turns out he’s dead.
And that’s why I’m singing
What…what is wrong with the world today?
What is wrong with the world today?
(Jemaine mumbles)
What…what is wrong with the world today?
You gotta think about it
Think think about it.
Good cops been framed and put into a can.
All the money that we’re making is going to the man.
What man?
Which man?
Who’s the man?
When’s a man a man?
What makes a man a man?
Am I a man?
Yes. Technically I am.
They’re turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers.
But hat’s the real cost?
‘Cause the sneakers don’t seem that much cheaper.
Why are we still paying so much for sneakers
When you got them made by little slave kids
What are your overheads?
Well, at the end of your life, you’re lucky if die,
Sometimes I wonder why we even try.
I saw a man lying on the street half dead
With knives and forks sticking out of his leg.
And he said,
“Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow
Can somebody get that knife and fork out of my leg, please?
Can somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees?”
And then we break it down.
This is where we break it down
Ooh
This is where we break it down
Aah
This is where we do the whoa-o-o-o
Break it down
This is where we build it up now
We build it up now
We build it up now
We build it up now
We build it up now
Build it up
And then we stop
Flight of The Conchords
I only say this because FIL is here for dinner and he's a golf nut so we're watching the whatever-cup-or-tourney that's on today. And this Scott kid? Toooootally stuffing. I'm just saying. But maybe he's a mutant and should do porn, but he probably makes more money on these balls than he would with his own, so it's probably a wise career move.
But still. S T U F F I N G.
"The vagina is a self-cleaning oven. You don't want to put anything in there."
"Secretarian differences"
What, one side prefers staples and the other likes paper clips?
