Friday, February 29, 2008

Still here

really. Just not feeling the posty love. But I'll be back TODAY with something. Husband is at a CLE, so it's just me and the ankle biters from last night to tomorrow morning. So far so good, though Perp woke up with a bug up her ass. Then she had a giant poo and felt much better. Amazing what a dump can do for your outlook, no?

We have high plans for running a few errands but I may just leave it until tomorrow when I go and get my knit on. Saturdays are Daddy Day at Moot Point; I hit the ground staggering, go to a local-ish bagel shop where I can't eat anything, and study. Then I go to the knitting house when they open and spend the day on whatever WIP I have going on. Tomorrow it's finishing Perp's Einstein jacket, then I start Husband's Christmas present. Yes. It's February March. I don't want to talk about it. I also have to get a BSJ out for friends who are having a girl in May. As many times as I've started that damn thing, I should have about seven of them done.

Anyway. More later when if the kids nap.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Choppy weather

The day before we left to visit SIL and BIL in Germy, Breakfast and Brunch went to meet their maker. Lucky us, our butcher's brother does on-site slaughtering, so we were able--for a ridiculous price*--to have the girls dispatched on their own turf with very little, if any, stress.

Two days after we drove, nay, staggered home from the airport, I went to the butcher to pick the girls up. Nothing like leaving 400 lb of pig (Breakfast) and coming home to 200 lb of neatly wrapped piles of meat. Well, hanging weight wasn't that high, but he guessed she ran about that big. Hanging weight was 237 lb for Breakfast and I think 162 lb for Brunch.

The breakdown:
88 chops (in pairs)
4 steaks (not sure if they're in pairs or not)
8 packs of ribs
9 shoulder roasts
4 loin roasts
*37* packs of bacon (I figure ~1 lb minimum, some clearly more like 3 lb)
1 roast (what kind? I don't know)
4 shoulder steaks
9 hams (picnic and big ones)
1 fresh picnic ham (for my dad)

We have 148# of bacon and hams! There's also 14 lb of sausage coming, but it's not ready yet.

The smoking was an extra charge of $111.00, and the butchering fees were $57 (Brunch) and $82 (not Brunch). So we have several hundred pounds of pork for $288 (not including feed costs and the cost of the pig). Not too shabby. Even if I dropped $200 for feed, that's still a great price per pound (Under $2!). Plus? We're not contributing to factory farming and astonishingly inhumane "living" and work conditions. I feel really good about that. Really good.

We're already planning on raising a few more this year. Several friends have asked if we'd raise one for them, and I figure it's just as easy to do 2 (or 4) as it is to do one, and they do prefer to be in groups, so... This time around I think it's safe to figure the pigs would have a hanging weight of 120-160 lb. We sure won't let them get as big as Breakfast did (6 hams off of her, because they were so big!). We figure to buy the pigs in early spring and schedule a slaughter date for mid-late September, which should lead to them being in the preferred slaughter range of 200-250 lbs.

Honestly, no one who knew either of us a few years ago could have predicted we'd be doing this. Hell, we wouldn't have predicted it.

What I love about this is that not only do we get truly fantastic meat, but our pasture is going to be all the better for it. As we move them around our field, I'll go in after and reseed to rebuild the soil and upgrade the pasture. Right now it's in pretty poor shape, and the rooting, pooping, peeing, and weed eating is just what we need to start off on the right foot. If I can figure out a good shelter for them, I'll also put some chickens out in with the pigs, to spread the manure and take care of flies and worms. While the pigs are young, I may also put the goats in with them, but the girls got pretty aggressive and I think that I'd prefer not to find out if pigs eat goat.

* how much would you charge for killing, skinning, and cleaning two pigs in 21-degree weather? Figure 2-3 hours of work, here. It probably wouldn't be $36, would it? How do they make a living at that price? That's where the extra few bucks came from in the price breakdown, btw. Thirty-six. When he got the bill, Husband said, "Thirty-six ..... dollars?" and butcher's brother said, "Yeah. It's cheap."

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Together, we can fill a landfill

*squirt*
"Dude, was that you?"
"Yeah!"
"Did you poop?"
"Yeah!" Arms up in air. Grin. "Big!"

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Somehow I knew it






Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics)
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as The Librarian

You're the Librarian! Once a wizard, now an Orang-utan (due to an unfortunate magical accident), you refuse to be turned back for a few reasons: In this form, it's easier to reach the shelves and hold more books; having the strength of five men makes people return their books on time; life's great philosophical questions boil down to "when do I get my next banana?" You say "ook" but are usually understood well enough.


The Librarian


88%

Death


81%

Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax


63%

Carrot Ironfounderson


63%

Gytha (Nanny) Ogg


63%

Greebo


56%

Commander Samuel Vimes


50%

Cohen The Barbarian


44%

Lord Havelock Vetinari


38%

Rincewind


38%


Sunday, December 30, 2007

Perpo and the Man

"Mama, Daddy took me to the bathroom and he used his junk himself!"

Friday, December 21, 2007

In the puking time

First struck down was Perp on Monday night with three bouts of violent vomiting and sheet/blanket changes. Tuesday everything seemed clear. Wednesday she puked on my mom's floor. Wednesday night Dude succumbed: FIVE bedding changes. Last night, I got the call in the form of a vague, semi-scary wakeup at 11:30. You know the feeling: "Uh oh. Something Is Up. Maybe if I just lie here..." bolt to bathroom. I ended up sitting on the tub for half an hour before the first round, so that's nice.

Note to self: when Husband's popcorn makes you want to hurl, prepare yourself for the worst.

Top it all off with (three) raging cases of near-cholera diarrhea and you have yourself a very merrry Christmas.

Here's something you may not have known: dehydration can make you so dizzy as to nearly pass out. Slumping to the floor with your head between your knees works wonders for that.

Also: my mother-in-law rocks the freaking UNIVERSE, and I'm not afraid to say so. She came over (despite having had this yesterday, which I didn't know at the time), and wrangled the kinder while I sprawled on my death bed. Then? THEN? She CLEANED! Okay, tidied, the place was actually pretty clean but we have chronic clutter problem. AND? She took the Perp home for the night. If you can think of a nice gift for her to thank her, drop me a line. I don't think she's a massage/mani/pedi person. I should really know this by now, shouldn't I? I suck.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

(C)Happy (C)Ha(n)u(k)ka(h)

I was going to post earlier to allow for my European friends but I'm lazy. Or I forgot. Whatever, have a latke on me!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Pork roasty goodness

Oh sweet mother of god:

pork shoulder roast (bone-in good)
kosher salt, maybe 1/2 - 3/4 c
handful of fresh sage leaves, chopped
2-3 garlic cloves, smashed
mashed up szechuan peppercorns (from penzeys) <---- this is my particular favorite. You may not love them as much as I do but if you don't I can't speak to you anymore.

Mix everything in a bowl and rub onto pork. Let it sit for at least 2 hours.

Cook at 450. Use a thermometer for to not overcook. Good lord. I think mine went about an hour and a half. If you tossed in some spuds at about an hour? OMG.

Overheard

Perp reading The Little Engine that Could: Once upon a time there was a little choo-choo. "I like to do lots of things. I can go up hills. I wish I could pee."

Urologist-to-be?

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Stupid calendar

I've had myself convinced that today was the 9th and my Meg Swensen DVD was going to be in my hot little hands this morning. Clearly I am wrong. Dammit!

Dude, when you can't even remember what the hell day it is? Time for an intervention.*




















*And I mean all week, not just today. ALL. WEEK.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Thank you for your support

I own two three non-nursing bras. I bought the main two when I was pregnant with Perp, which means I got them in October 2003. I have not replaced them nor even considered doing so until recently. I mean, they're holding together remarkably well, they're still white, and I don't appear to have changed size, even if I have shown remarkable, uh, attention to the laws of gravity.

So why haven't I gotten new ones since then? Is it because I find it painful to buy new clothes for myself? That replacing them when they aren't torn, snagged, or stained seems wasteful? Or maybe I don't want to show my new boobs to a stranger when I get sized (just curious if I'm really the same size or if all that extra just happens to fill the same space, when you smash it into the cup).

I think part of it is that while I have no problem buying clothes for everyone else in the family, I feel guilty when I do it for myself. I almost only buy from Target, and only if it's on deep discount. I only get utilitarian things, which makes sense given the likelihood of my being covered in random food substaces or pig/goat/chicken shit.

Part of it is also that I hardly ever wore a bra before I had the kids. I wore these little sports-bra-meets-camisole dealies that did nothing but add another layer, and that was okay. Back in the day I had these gravity-defying funbags that had to be seen to be believed. Oh, how I wish I'd taken pictures of them. The things you never thought you'd say..

So anyway, I didn't wear them, or when I did they were entirely the wrong size so I got rid of a bunch and never replaced them. And now I have my trusty friends, workhorses that WILL NOT DIE SO I CAN REPLACE THEM.

Maybe it's time to hold an old-fashioned bra burning.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Too many cool sites

out there these days. But with the rampant consumerism absolutely insane expectations holiday season upon us, perhaps you'll find this handy. It's so cool! You can set it so spouses don't draw each others' names, even. Damn. Clever, these elves.

I swear to god I hit submit

yet there's no Monday post.

Ah well. I think I beat last year's record for fucking up. Woohoo!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Cookie goodness

I worked these up on the theory that they'd be good for Dude and his stupid gluten intolerance. Imagine my surprise when I found out that oats have gluten in them. *sigh*

So. If you (or someone you know) can't have wheat because of a wheat allergy, rather than a gluten intolerance, these are great. Crispy on the edges, chewy in the center, and no one I gave them to could tell they were wheat free.

1 c butter
1 c white sugar
1 c brown sugar
1 T vanilla
1 t baking soda
2 eggs
1 t salt
1 T xanthan gum
1/3 c rice flour
2 c tapioca flour
1 bag chocolate chips
2 c quick (NOT instant) oats --if you like an oatier texture, use the regular oats, the ones that take 3-5 minutes to cook. If you use the quick ones, most people won't even notice them, but the cookies will have a wonderful texture that's nothing like those sandy gluten-free cookies.


Work just like a regular cookie recipe, cream butter/sugar, add eggs, etc.

Bake at 375 until nice and brown.

I think if I make them again I'll also add 1-2 T flax seeds; good fiber and a little crunch to boot.

Even if you're not wheat free, give these a try. They're really fantastic.

Don't know much about history

or football, but I know funny.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Ribbit

I'm working up a Baby Surprise Jacket and until just now I thought I was really kicking some BSJ ass. But I'm 3 sts short for the first increase row so I guess I have to frog it and start over. BUT! I found this really cool site that has a modernized pattern written out. I think I'll love this, but Zimmermann's directions are a bit ... loosey goosey.

So I'm starting it over again. Wish me luck!

Friday, November 02, 2007

New for the Spring 2008 Prostitot collection

This kind of thing is a particular problem for me, the clothing of small girls in mini-me whore clothes. Dressing toddlers in pants that say YUMMY across the ass are isn't cute, it's appalling. Imagine my surprise when I heard about Celia Rivenbark, who seems to feel exactly the same way I do.

Children are not miniature adults and they should not be dressed as such. I don't know why that's so hard for parents to understand. And don't give me that, "But I don't want her to be picked on," or "I don't know about fashion, what am I supposed to do?" bullshit. You're supposed to say NO. Do your goddamned job, dude. Don't be her friend; be her father.

It's hard enough raising (or being) a girl in this culutre. Why subject her to its ugly side any sooner than you have to?

I suppose this is the proper time to admit that I've been making Perp a bunch of burquas. They're in pretty colors! Of course, since she's going to live in the basement until she's 30, I suppose it doesn't really matter what she wears.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

NaBloPoMo!!

It's baaaaaack.

I totally forgot today was November so I have nothing to say but I'm taking another shot at it. I hope it takes me longer to forget to post this time.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Can you hear the howling, Clarice?

Okay, that title will prove to be completely inappropriate, but I kind of like it. Shut up!

Perp was washing her doll, Coyote last night, and I realized, oh my god God, she named her doll Coyote. What the hell? Where on earth did that come from? Then I realized, hell, she already has a doll she named Yes (very popular with the boy dolls), an invisible friend named Trupe/Troop/Troupe (she can't spell it so I don't know), another invisible friend called Commando, an invisible dog named Buster. Quite the stable. She also demands that we role-play. Recently, while under her weird mind control, I spent an hour being Gus, a classmate of hers. I like him. He likes to lie on the floor and pretend to sleep. Imagine the coincidence, so do I!

Go figure.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Cross-cultural pollination

Perp and Dude are watching the Street, as they are wont to do every morning. I don't love the idea but what the hell, we're Amerian parents and we may as well buy in. Aaaaanyway, call me crazy, but I think Mr. Noodle just missed taking a ride with Travis Bickle. WTF?